Retard-o-Tron II – the mixtape madness continues

Retard-o-Tron II

It’s big, it’s bad, and it’s BACK! ZXQL3000 and Cinema Sewer return to give us a second helping of video madness.

If you’ve been living under a rock, on Mars, for the past while and never heard of Retard-o-Tron then you should head over to here, and read my review of the first Retard-o-Tron mixtape, and while you’re at it, read my interview with ZXQL3000, one of the masterminds behind the tapes.

Retard-o-Tron II begins with a rather hilarious take on Donald Duck, but with porn. How so? Well, I’m sure you’ve heard the odd sounds those chicks make when they’re gag reflex is not quite in order, well for the first few minutes were treated to pornified Donald Duck impersonations.

Several clips later we’re introduced to one of the strangest looking characters in a long time, some black dude that looks like a reject from Tod Browning’s Kirchhain Freaks (reviewed here incidentally). I wouldn’t like to meet him in dark alley!

Umm, it's OK, he doesn't normally have bleached hair...

Umm, it's OK, he doesn't normally have bleached hair...

Next were treated to a pilot episode of a TV programme which, thankfully, never made it past being a pilot: The Man With The Power. In short, it’s a guy who can move objects with his mind. Whoop-dee-do. After a few clips of evangelists, re-dubbed anime and chicks fighting, we get some mighty gay looking dancing and some clips of the chick that holds/crushes things with her ginormous boobs. Some violent wrestling is next, which is something I need to start downloading *ahem* buying. That’s then followed by several porn clips of chicks completely over acting… as they do. Then there’s some bull fighting, this type I’m all for as in these clips the bull kicks ass and the gay matador is fleeing for his life. Go bull!

For several minutes we get ‘The Retard-o-Tron, Oh Yeah-a-Thon’ which is several porn clips but with a counter on the side of the screen, counting how many times the chick says ‘ooh yeah’. Needless to say, it’s a high number. Several clips from Tourettes Guy feature here too, and that’s no bad thing. Fake or not, they’re still hilarious.

We’re after the half way mark now and it’s getting in to some backyard wrestling. Obviously these poor souls have been hit on the head once too many with a spectators chair. Still… it’s funny to see them accept such brutality. Speaking of brutality – EXOman… another series that (I hope) didn’t make it past pilot. It’s basically a guy wearing some chainmail.

EXOman! Fear his chainmail!

Calamari Wrestler makes an appearance too, and rightly so. It’s a very bizarre/surreal film that everyone should see. After some more porn clips we get some more backyard wrestling followed by, my favourite, dumbass skateboarders who fall off and get cracked in the nuts/head. Yay!

1hr 45mins later the madness comes to an end… awwwwww! But I feel better for having seen such madness, it makes me all fuzzy inside. Sure, some of the clips are a bit blurry and/or grainy, but that’s because they’re from the VHS era and are quite rare, but the majority of the clips are of excellent quality, probably DVD quality, and all squished in to a DIVX file.

You can download both mixtapes from Patigi ZXQL3000‘s homepage, but do consider buying a physical, real-world, DVD copy to persuade him to make a third mixtape. And don’t forget to check out his ‘Fans’ page for free boobage!

Rating: ★★★★½

Some clips from Retard-o-Tron II (does that make it a mixtape, of a mixtape?):

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About Ronnie

Having survived the UK's 'video nasty' (prohibition) era I'm eager to catch up with all previously unseen sleaze and filth. I revel in mixtape oddness, boobage, gore, and proper latex special effects, don't get me started on CGI... - email Ronnie
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