Frogs (1972)

Frogs (1972)

With a poster that awesome, I just HAD to watch Whittier Frogs!

Now, I wish I hadn’t.

The basic premise of Frogs is as thus: Rich playboy is out in his new speedboat and runs down a freelance photographer who’s out taking photos of the local wildlife. The guy, and his hot girlfriend, take the poor victim back to their place to dry off. There he meets the entire family and is given the job of investigating the influx of frogs on the old mans estate.

Now, technically (for a B-movie) it’s a great idea. I imagined giant mutant frogs with people’s legs dangling from their googly eyed mouths, but no.

The film is obviously made on a low budget and I feel the utmost pity for Ray Milland, a talented actor who obviously made a bad choice here, but several things popped in to my mind whilst watching this ‘movie’. First and foremost, what’s the difference between a frog, and a toad? Well, according to

Frogs have slimy, slippery and delicate skin, but cheap generic Aurogra no prescription toads have drier skin with warts

Which is what I thought, so:

That, good Sir, is in fact a toad. Identifiable by the warts upon its skin...

That, good Sir, is in fact a toad. Identifiable by the warts upon its skin...

… the entire indomitably FROGS film is in fact filled with buy provigil cheap online TOADS. Well that’s a stroke of genius. Secondly, I didn’t count one death in the film that involved a frog. All the deaths were caused by various non-frog-like creatures. There’s everything from day geckos, tokay geckos, crocodiles (more about them later), toads, snakes, in fact I think the only reptile missing from the film was a komodo dragon. Having a komodo dragon in the film (preferably attacking someone) would have instantly made it kick ass.

Several glaring errors also made me face palm and shake my head in shame at this movie. Number one is the crocodile wrestling scene. Well that seems quite dangerous you’d think, as I too thought, until I saw this one part where the crocodile is upside down and you can clearly see the tape holding is mouth shut! Behold:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that looks suspiciously like a foreign object sealing that crocodiles mouth shut...

Second was the dead-man-lying-face-down-in-the-swamp who was clearly breathing as the photographer approached him! Third was the man who shoots a bird (which posed no danger what-so-ever), trips over a branch and proceeds to shoot himself in the leg, is then attacked by ferociously growing moss and finished off by a couple of big spiders.

Now I’m more than willing to suspend ALL belief while watching movies – hell, look at some of the movies on here that I’ve watched! – but Frogs just has too many mistakes to ignore, especially the lack of giant frogs eating people.

So, if someone out there (with too much money) wants to give me a budget, I’ll make a PROPER version of Frogs with giant mutant frogs (not toads) attacking people, it’d have hot chicks, boobs and women fainting. Not enough women faint in movies now a days, they’re too busy trying to be manly. I have to say, If this film had been called ‘Attack of Nature’ or ‘When Reptiles Attack’ it might have been cool, but putting out that poster of the frog with the hand dangling from its mouth made me expect mutant frogs. I don’t like being deceived by posters, hence why I’m being hard with this film…

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

The trailer (which tries to make it look cool):

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About Ronnie

Having survived the UK's 'video nasty' (prohibition) era I'm eager to catch up with all previously unseen sleaze and filth. I revel in mixtape oddness, boobage, gore, and proper latex special effects, don't get me started on CGI... - email Ronnie
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