Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Plot (I didn’t even know there was one! – Ronnie): After a wave of reports of mysterious attacks involving people and pets being eaten by the traditionally docile fruit, a special government task force is set up to investigate the violent veggies and put a stop to their murderous spree. Included in this crack team are a lieutenant who never goes anywhere without his parachute, an underwater expert who’s never out of his scuba gear, and a master of disguise who conceals his appearance by dressing as a black Adolf Hitler.
Alex: present day? do we all get presents?
Ronnie: you reckon that was a reverse shot?
Alex: no, not the semi-attractive redhead housewife
Alex: it was a clever reverse shot actually
Alex: it looked good
Ronnie: I’m liking the intro song…
Alex: we have to post the youtube link to the theme song, for all 3 people who read this and haven’t heard it
Ronnie: ‘Miss Potato Famine of 1922′??
Alex: I bet shes hot
Alex: these credits are hilarious “THIS SPACE AVAILABLE CALL”
Ronnie: ‘got little Timmy…’
Alex: i like how it leaves old people alone
Alex: wow they had the money to crash a real helicopter?
Ronnie: WIG!
Alex: and a GREAT wig

Now THAT's a quality rug!

Alex: super spys name is MASON DIXON
Ronnie: are they meeting in a phone box?
Alex: at least they aren’t pretending like there is a plot
Alex: this is Monty Python levels of silly
Ronnie: Monty Python indeed…
Ronnie: but tomato style…

I hope they don't get a fire alarm...

Alex: I’m waiting for Cleese to show up with a dead bird…
Ronnie: hopefully not…
Ronnie: haha… dubbing
Alex: great the jap has come up with a half man half robot, and the dubbing is great
Alex: Tomatoes are fags
Alex: i learn something new everyday
Alex: thats guys face makes me laugh for some reason, def. getting a picture of that
Ronnie: yeah
Alex: JAWS?
Ronnie: swimsuits!
Alex: yup, jaws
Ronnie: tomat-jaws
Alex: jawmatoes even?
Alex: how did we get to motorbikes?
Ronnie: Dunno, but there’s hot chicks…
Alex: wait, there might be boobage, I’m enticed
Alex: how about that Fairchild
Ronnie: mumbling tomatoes?
Alex: they are throwing tomatoes being thrown at the car
Ronnie: what’s with the pens! :/
Alex: The president used the Statue of Liberty as collateral
Ronnie: meh, it’s only a statue anyway…
Ronnie: (French I believe)
Alex: true, I memory serves we got that from the French
Alex: why did they just make a Superman joke
Ronnie: I’ve no idea…
Ronnie: was W Bush President when this was made??
Alex: not yet, nor his father
Ronnie: ‘those funny black ships keep sinking anyway…’
Alex: is the black master of disguise guy dessed like Hitler?
Ronnie: In a word: yes
Ronnie: Why? I do not know…
Alex: this is police academy bad

Several vialiant victims of the great tomato attack of '78

Ronnie: New York? Looks more like the Street of San Francisco…
Alex: I don’t remember trolly cars in New York…um…ever
Ronnie: so we’ve gone from scrolling ‘buy our sofas’ ads to a sing-song? Oh dear…
Alex: look to be that way
Ronnie: from an old dude with while flares on…
Alex: those pants made me a little gay just by seeing them
Ronnie: don’t forget the shirt…
Alex: she movies needs an injection of floozy women and more tomatoes attacks…
Ronnie: very true…
Ronnie: ok, now they’re pretending there’s a story to this…
Ronnie: ‘a lady of the evening’
Alex: yeah…thats usually where it all goes downhill
Ronnie: ok, it’s getting boring now…
Alex: wait, the dog is talking
Alex: oh well i guess non-descript white kid got eaten up
Ronnie: hopefully…
Alex: is that Ernest Borgnine?
Alex: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Alex: ok, that scene won me back for a minute
Ronnie: for his sake, I hope not…
Alex: They are having way to much fun with the captions
Ronnie: was probably a new invention when this was made… it was 1978 after all…
Alex: along with wool suits apparently
Ronnie: that’s the 70′s for ya…
Alex: they are actually onto something with the whole Jesus Christ in commercials
Ronnie: yeah, it’d work…
Ronnie: They had planes in 1978? Holy crap…
Alex: back into the little meeting room
Alex: this scene is actually kind of clever
Ronnie: nice cutting…
Alex: splicing together 2 phone conversations to make one
Alex: that guy with the handgun is about as accurate as my dad when he plays DOOM
Ronnie: I expected the ship to sink…
Alex: THAT would have been funny
Ronnie: it needs the Benny Hill sound track…
Alex: its been needing it for a while
Alex: worst chase ever
Ronnie: yeah but it was meant to be…
Alex: I am still not getting the whole “pens” thing
Ronnie: nah, I don’t get it either…
Alex: oh fuck, musical time again
Ronnie: but getting worse!
Ronnie: ok this is just embarrassing now…
Ronnie: ooh, explosions!
Alex: well, we only got 23 minutes left
Alex: the minature city was kinda funny
Ronnie: Thank God!
Alex: you know what this makes me want to watch?
Ronnie: uh, Airplane?
Alex: no, but that movie eclipses this 10 fold
Alex: some kind of crazy Godzilla movie with really bad minature towns and robots
Ronnie: ok, the interview made me laugh…
Alex: yeah, he called the lady “no spring chicken”
Alex: +.5 stars for using the phrase “spring chicken”
Ronnie: nice cartoon sound effects…
Alex: wiley coyote should pop up any minute now….
Ronnie: I can but hope…
Alex: what the hell is even happeneing in this scene?
Ronnie: I have NO idea…
Alex: douchebag turn around twist OMG
Alex: is that blue and yellow furniture?
Alex: did people actually have that shit back in the day?
Ronnie: oh yes… it’s all being used now in Russia…
Alex: no interest in Russia
Alex: although don’t they have some pretty womenz?
Alex: I would rather hop on over to Amsterdam
Ronnie: Sometimes, yes.
Alex: UPS gets blown away
Alex: what does Puberty love have to do with anything
Ronnie: Please… no. Please don’t play Donny Osmond!
Alex: besides being a Michael Jackson Hit
Ronnie: what’s with the white guy dressed as an Arab?? :/
Alex: I noticed him too! I guess Hezbollah is gonna help fight those dastardly tomatoes
Ronnie: and someone dressed as Groucho Marx
Alex: Well, the Marx thing kind of makes sense
Ronnie: It does?
Alex: I can certainly see some Groucho influence on whomever created this…mastperiece
Ronnie: you have a point there…

They're attacking, and they're tomatoes! AGGHHHHH!!!!

Alex: This is worse than The Baron against the Demons
Alex: in case you were wondering
Ronnie: impossible!
Alex: a tomatoes with HEADPHONES?!?!?!
Alex: very possible
Alex: that is a strong woman to pick him up like that
Alex: oh fuck me running, no more singing
Ronnie: not half! Maybe they used wires…
Ronnie: I’m dropping it .5 for the singing crap…
Alex: so it gets a 0 then?
Ronnie: no no…
Alex: mercifully
Ronnie: *phew!*
Ronnie: well… it was funny (in places) and didn’t even try to be serious (pro’s), but the singing and lack of boobs is a definite con…
Alex: it needed some gore as well
Alex: even terrible gore
Ronnie: true
Ronnie: but, still, I’m giving it a 2
Alex: I’ll go 1
Ronnie: ouch…

Ronnie’s Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Alex’s Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes intro theme:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wfm3_BMinhg