Saw VII (Saw 3D, 2010)

Saw VII (I refuse to acknowledge this 3D nonsense) is (allegedly!) the last in the Saw series.

I’ve been following Saw since those tantalizing previews of Saw hit the Interwebz, showing Amanda in the reverse bear trap (RBT) mask. So, seven years have passed, the story has spanned six previous films and this, the seventh, promises to wrap it all up. We’ll see…

Jigsaw (John) is long gone, he died a couple of movies ago, but his legacy has lived on in former (?) cop, Hoffman. But Jigsaw’s wife (Jill) knows more than she’s letting on and Hoffman needs to be rid of her. In Saw VII, Hoffman is out to take Jill out. But this is the last Saw movie, so what will happen to Hoffman? This is a spoiler free review, so you’ll have to watch the movie to find out.

There are more traps in Saw VII than in any other Saw film, more gore too if I’m not mistaken. One particular (car) trap springs to mind. A man is glued (literally!) to the drivers seat, the car is up on jacks and under the rear wheel is a womans head, she’s strapped to the floor. Behind the car is a second man, he’s all strapped up too. And, last but not least, in front of the car is another man. I shant tell you the outcome, but oh, there will be gore.

If, like me, you’ve been a slave to the Saw story then you’ll know what the expected outcome of Saw VII will be, considering that Dr. Gordon makes a rare appearance. No, he’s not been behind it all! I’d hoped they’d pull a rabbit out of the hat and have a more unexpected ending, but at least it confirms/denies much of the speculation that’s been ongoing now for several years, but it’s good to bring it all to an end.

There was a lot of blood, plenty of scenes to make you winch, and a ton of gore, so I’d say it’s gone out with a bang.

So… when’s that prequel getting made?

I’m kidding, I’m kidding!

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Cool pumpkins bro.

The original Night of the Demons (review here by yours truly) is a cult classic from the good old 80′s that is often grabbed by horror fans in October when they are in need of some Demon possession fun.  While it is dated, and many of the gags that back in the day must have been quite cool fall flat or just look silly in 2010, it is still an atmosphere laden gem that has that unmistakable intangible that modern day horror movies seem to lack…fun.  Enter the inevitable remake which. despite a cast of either no names or B-list talent, and a release that seemed to have come from nowhere, does a great job of encapsulating the spirit of the 80′s classic and even manages to provide some legitimate tension, jolt-scares, and prosthetic gore.  It isn’t perfect a perfect translation (but then again, the original wasn’t perfect either), but after wading through the slog of Hollywood horror remakes for the better part of the last decade, I found NOTD 09′ to be a refreshing blast of sleazy, raunchy, gooey fun that has just enough tricks up its sleeve to ascend into a rare upper echelon of not only downright groovy horror remakes, but just plain fun and radical horror movies in general.

That is totally the kind of house where slutty, boozing, pot smoking 20 somethings bite the dust. Oops, spoilers.

Since NOTD 09′ (that’s my cool little shorthand name for it, deal with it) is the kind of movie that doesn’t beg for any real type of analysis or even that much explanation, I’ll keep this fairly brief.  Some entirely-too-good-looking-to-be-anyone-who-exists-in-the-real-world 20 somethings are invited by the resident creepy goth chick, Angela, to a house with a long history of bloodletting and gruesome happenings dating back 150 years.  Of course, this party is taking place on Halloween night, because if you’re going to tempt fate, go big right?  After dancing, and obligatory party shots of chicks making out and girls wearing “clothing” that is so tight and revealing you wonder if they painted them on, the party eventually gets busted up by those ASSHOLE COPS who are only around when they can kill your buzz but always seem to run off once you’re inundated with the demonic un-fucking-dead.  So after some “we need to get back into the building to find our drunk whore friend and get her home” shenanigans, demons, who are trying to possess enough people on Halloween night in order to screw up some biblical loophole business, show up and start slowly turning people and causing the ruckus that they are known to do in any horror movie they find themselves in.  Demon orgy?  Check.  Demon Sex? Check.  Demon gut munching? Check. Very creative substance/material that demons are “allergic” too? Check.  DEMON LESBIANS?  CHECKKKKKKKKKK.  Someone at the Halloween party dressed up like the Jigsaw puppet from the SAW MOVIES?  MOTHERFUCKING CHECK!!!!!!

GETTING JIGGY WITH IT!

All jokes aside, the film is pretty well acted, and it even stars the kid from Terminator 2, Edward Furlong.  Also Doira Baird and some other floozies I’ve seen in a bunch of these horror movies lately.  It isn’t quite a gorefest, but when the gore is present, it’s done quite beautifully with rubber, latex and Karo syrup.  The boo scares are very clever and well-timed to hit on the down or off beats and there are more than a few fake out scares that are teeth grinders because you’re just waiting for the shit to hit the fan.  The ending is also clever enough to gain praise and it doesn’t fall into the typical trappings of “OMG WE HAVE TO LEAVE ROOM FOR A SEQUEL” end of  movie bullshit.  Since going on any further would mean I would just start spoiling the best parts, I’ll leave you with a HEARTY recommendation and a 3.5 out of 5 star score.  If you’re a fan of the originals, this is a must.  I mentioned the demon lesbians right?

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Maybe she is born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline.

Saw VI (2009)

Who knew that a low budget film would spawn five sequels? Certainly not I, but I knew after seeing Saw that it we would end up with a Saw II. Fast forward five years and here we have Saw VI. If you read my review of Saw V, you’ll know I’m a bit of a Saw fanboy, and proud of it, and I’ve been eagerly awaiting Saw VI for several years, as it was announced that the same team of writers (Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton) would write Saw IV, V and VI and that Saw VI would effectively be the conclusion to the series (all be it that Twisted Pictures have since said that they’ll make as many Saw films as the fans demand), but, in this case, it seems like Saw VI was indeed written to be a bit of a wrap-up.

Like the title says, this is a spoiler-free review, so I’m not going to get too deep in to what Saw VI contains, but it does have enough to keep us Saw fans happy.

Gore. There’s quite a bit of it in Saw VI, the result of Strahm’s demise is shown, as is how Hoffman manages to plant things on Strahm. Several traps are quite bloody, especially some of the shots (literally!) in the now infamous carousel sequence.

Story. This, like Saw V (I think), is definitely a story orientated film as it shows us quite a lot of background detail involving Jigsaw and his cohorts, Hoffman and Amanda. And of course Jill. What’s in the box that Jigsaw left her in his will? What was in the letter that left Amanda so distraught? Saw VI tells all. And more.

The acting is good throughout, only a few bad performances from the I’m-thick-as-two-planks-and-dropping-hints-aplenty Fed.

I loved Saw VI, an hour after seeing it my brain was still in overdrive trying to place all the pieces into the timeline and trying to figure out what loose ends are left for the inevitable Saw VII.

If you love the Saw series, and are following the story closely, like I am, then you’ll love Saw VI.

Game Over.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

He is all out of bubblegum.

2008 was, without a doubt, the year of the comic book movie.  Along side the earth shattering success of The Dark Knight, there was the surprisingly impressive Hulk movie, and the Robert Downey Jr. resurrection machine known as Iron Man.  Both turned out to be great movies in their own right, with the Hulk finally getting the balance between the rage fueled violence and the plight of the scientist with a curse right, and with Iron Man, where Downey Jr. literally transformed himself into a living, breathing Tony Stark.

So then why didn’t anyone pay any attention to Punisher War Zone?  Maybe it was because the 2004 entry was almost universally panned for being quite atrocious.  Maybe because it didn’t have anywhere near the hype and media coverage that the big three got.  Maybe because it’s R rated (and let me tell you, its earns ALL of that R rating and then some).  Maybe it’s because the plot concerning an ex-military mans family being slaughtered because they witnessed a mob killing is just to grim for most audiences.  Whatever the reason, it’s truly a damn shame, because against what seemed like all odds, the old adage of “third times a charm” came shining through, and Frank Castle finally get his long overdue opus on the silver screen.

The Punisher to me, always seemed like the safest and easiest bet of all the Marvel heroes to turn into a feature film.  There’s no expensive CGI and complicated suits to create.  There’s no interplanetary or ridiculously complex scientific origin to the hero.  His appearance is just that of a middle-aged tired and emotionally distraught Italian male.  And he actually doesn’t even has superpowers, his is just an incredibly driven, superlatively trained warrior who occupies the gray area in between the good and evil of society.  Aside from some more intimate and provoking undertones that go on within The Punishers own conscious, his main method of entertaining comic books fans was plowing his way as violently as possible through droves of street thugs, gangsters, and criminals.  It’s at about this time your probably recognizing how male orientated this comic series was.  It seems like every male action junkies fantasy, to be this near suicidal, empty shell of a man who can just kill with absolute impunity.  Yet, in a strange twist, it took a woman to get this story right.

The Punisher can kill a man with a chair. That's hardcore.

Director Lexi Alexanders’ command of the visual style and pacing of this movie is probably the most immediate and impressive of the taunting hurdles she had to overcome to create such an exceptionally accurate representation of The Punisher as it is presented in the comics.  The Punisher is a man of action, a man of finality, in his world there are three colors, Black (evil), White (good), and Red (Blood and Justice).  Lexi encapsulates that beautifully, knowing exactly when to allow the story play out a bit, and maybe let the characters get a little introspective, and when to crank it up to 11 by unleashing the Punisher without any hesitation or restriction.  Combining those strengths, with a keen eye for lighting, to give everything  that grimy, almost mafia look, and some dynamite performances and well thought out actions set pieces and you have a recipe for success.

But while Lexi may have created quite the landscape for a vigilante superhero with an uncanny talent for dealing death, it would be nothing if there weren’t solid actors to bring the persona’s off the pages of the comics.  Everyone, let me introduce to Ray Stevenson.  This guy is a presence on screen, I liken him to Gerald Butler, who completely stole the show in every scene he was in in 300.  His somber and weathered face and flat voice was a perfect fit for bringing to life the near emotionless Frank Castle.  He wasn’t just a revelation because he accurately portrayed a comic book character, he was a revelation because he acted his fucking ass off, and bridged the gap between inflated, comically quirky superheroes, and three-dimensional characters who seem to live and breath in an incredibly believable manner.

Jigsaw.

Surrounding him is a ensemble cast that includes Julie Benz (RAMBO, Dexter TV show), Dominic West (The Wire TV show), and Wayne Knight (Seinfeld and Jurassic Park).  They all fit the bill perfectly, and bring the kind of subtle, validating emotions to the screen, while still being incredibly fun to marvel (pun intended) at due to their fan service nature and faithful reproduction on screen.

Technically speaking, the audio is superb, with the score being allowed to creep into the forefront at just the right moments to give more emotional resonance and weight to a particular scene.  Also, every gunshot, shell casing, bullet wound, lost limb, and blown up body is accounted for, with satisfyingly loud, deep, and visceral sound effects.  As previously mentioned, the lighting is a perfect blend of realistic city environments, and heavily stylized colorful comic book cities.  The camera also always seems to be in the right place, never wearing out its welcome by using too many gimmicks or by sitting around like a seemingly uninterested bystander.  It moves with the pace of the action, and always gives a great glimpse of what is happening.

Heavy Handed for those uninitiated in Punisher lore, but this is as fitting a message to go out on as any.

The Punisher, is my humble opinion, is better than the Hulk movie, and right up there with Iron Man as far as 2008 comic book movies are concerned, with the The Dark Knight being the obvious number 1.   This is an incredibly faithful, stunningly grisly, and frighteningly accurate depiction of everything that is great about the character Marvel fans seem to forget about the most in The Punisher.  The acting is simply spot on, only once or twice spilling into hammy territory.  The look and feel is wonderful without being overbearing.  It sounds like a dream John Woo had, and it moves quickly, avoiding all those slippery little chasms where character exposition and plot development can lead to mind-numbing boredom and frustration.

The birth of the alternative comic book movie is upon us, and I for one am eagerly awaiting whats next.

Get out of my way, punk

Saw V

Readers of this blog will know that I am a self-confessed Saw fanboy. So I was eager to see how the Saw franchise would move forward with the death of it’s leading character.

Fear not dear reader, this review will be spoiler free, I will not be giving away any new plot details, I promise!

Saw V begins with a quick review of what we found out at the end of Saw IV, that Jigsaw is dead, Strahm is trapped in a room and the other players from IV are also dead. The only survivor is Hoffman.

Saw V starts with the pendulum trap that we saw in one of the first clips released. V spends half of its time jumping back and forth between the past explaining stuff (‘stuff’ that I shan’t expand upon), and the present, with five new players in a trap. This is the ‘five will become one’ clip that was circulating before the release of V.

A lot of questions are answered in Saw V, but – true to the series – more questions arise as the movie trundles along. Speaking of which, I found the first twenty or so minutes quite slow, but – true to form – picked up pace. This is definitely more of a story Saw, than a gore Saw.

‘You won’t believe how it ends‘ say all the posters. Well, I obviously won’t give away the ending, but it’s hardly earth shattering – still a nice twist though.

I breath a sigh of relief and say: I like Saw V, I’m still a fan. And well done Mr Hackl too, his first full film as a Director, and it looks good… has the continuity of Saw I – IV (hardly surprising since Hackl practically is Jigsaw!), it’s dark, nicely lit and gory when it needs to be.

I just worry that there’s an outsider lined up to Direct Saw VI. Oh well, won’t be long now ’til Oct ’09…

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1132626/]