Hausu (aka: House) - 1977

I’ll tell you right now, and up front, this is one weeeeeird film! It’s part haunted house movie, part love story, part horror, part comedy and part 70′s children’s TV (you know, when they used to do the really jerky stop motion stuff?).

Hausu (or, House to us English speakers) has a plot (of sorts) that goes a little like this: Oshare (Gorgeous) is excited about spending summer vacation with her father, until she finds out that his beautiful, freakishly serene girlfriend Ryouko would be going as well. Oshare decides she will be going to her aunt’s house in the country instead. She brings with her her friends from school – Fanta (who likes to take pictures, and daydreams a lot), KunFuu (who has very good reflexes), Gari/Prof (who is a major nerd), Sweet (who likes to clean), Mac (who eats a lot), and Melody (a musician). However, the girls are unaware that Oshare’s aunt is actually dead and the house is actually haunted. When they arrive at the house, crazy events take place and the girls disappear one by one while slowly discovering the secret behind all the madness. (taken from IMDb)

I will say this though, even though it was shot in the 70′s the colours in the film are amazing. Its bright colours reminded me of The Wizard of Oz where the colours are really bright and vibrant.

The film starts with two school girls who act like lesbian lovers, rather than best friends. One returns home to find her pops is about to drop the bombshell that they’re still going on holiday, but he’s bringing his new girlfriend with them. The daughter isn’t amused, goes to her room and begins talking to photos of her now dead mother. Very odd.

Oh, did I mention that she changes from her school outfit to her dress just by twirling? Yeah, this chick thinks she’s Wonder Woman or something… that caught me off guard, had to rewind to check if that really did happen. And it did!

After a quick sing-song, a man falls down a set of stairs, gets his ass stuck in a metal bucket, moves around for several seconds in jerky stop motion before using the telephone with the bucket still attached to his posterior. No, seriously, I have evidence:

A man with a bucket stuck on his ass with a small child drumming on it.

Next the girls are on a bus and  showing photos to one another which begins a series of old style movies explaining the relevance of the photos. Once they get off the bus though…

Note the backdrop behind the girls, that's for the next scene.

Note the backdrop behind them, that’s the backdrop for the next scene. Hide it? Nah. Cut to move it in/out? Nah…

Eventually the girls find the house they’re looking for which is inhabited by some (supposedly) older chick in a wheelchair.

Now that's colours for ya. It's like an oil painting, and the whole film is like that!

From here the girls see spooky goings on and are dispatched one by one. One death includes the now infamous death-by-piano scene:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBatYO_9Yg0

The entire film is that crazy. Honestly.

In this scene Auntie has miraculously recovered, doesn’t need her wheelchair and is dancing with a skeleton:

Not wheelchair ridden any more, she's up and dancing with skeletons!

After several other deaths, two men decide to discuss their likes and dislikes:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnWFhPCNHbQ

And from here on in we get to see a little flash of boobs and an explanation (of sorts!) to explain the strange goings on. But it’s really not enough to explain ALL the strangeness in this film! It’d take another film to explain that.

Oh, wait, I didn’t mention the weird end credits sequence. Heck, I’ll let it speak for its self:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YrJPcMfSfw

Keep watching it to at least the 45sec mark to get the full weirdness of it.

Man this is one weird film! I feel like I’ve been tripping for the past 90mins! If you like strangeness then this is one film not to miss. The plot is nonsense, the acting is OK, the effects are 1970′s (so basic at best) but it’s hard to dislike it!

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars <– giving it a 3 but +1 for the piano and other death scenes.

Midnightshowing.com Presents Alex’s Top 10 (+1) movies of 2009 (In no particular order except for the top 2!) from Alex S on Vimeo.

Coal is the least of your worries

In keeping with the seasonal theme, here is Tales From the Crypt and the quite festive episode they produced in 1989, I believe.  Keep a close eye on the credits, as Fred Dekker (Night of the Creeps, Monster Squad) wrote this episode, and Robert Zemeckis (Cast Away, Beowulf, dozens of other big budget Hollywood movies) directed it, with a who’s who list supplying the producing like Joel Silver and Richard Donner.  Also Larry Drake, the bad guy from the Darkman movies, plays Santa! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

On with the show, thanks to scary4you who put this on youtube!

(Chopped into three parts…)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHqyMUjOzLk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOgZk4ZH1LQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UeassKRlqE

The only screencap I could give without spoiling the surprise!

Sometimes the children aren’t the only ones who get what they want for Christmas…

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOqhqpBj5GE

A fantastic slice of years gone by when TV could be relied on to give us wonderful holiday treats like this one.  Well worth a watch and perfectly suited for both adults and children.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NqgidFIHw8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDpglhIhb5M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLtGkyNGNuw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTNrH2-q_kY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM0ejr2PFDU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnfs7qm2KdI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tj6rqnb-K1w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNRYBpRjWJU

Didn't really help me out.

Satan’s little helper is a relatively new (2004 ) film that takes place on Halloween and looks to combine its own brand of irreverence and humor while working within the vague confines of a slasher picture.  The only problem is that it jumps around from idea to idea so much that the narrative becomes so muddled and disjointed the film is barely watchable a majority of the time.  Satan (who may actually be Satan or just a ruthless serial killer in disguise) is befriended by a young naive boy who is under the impression that his addictive video game, aptly titled Satan’s Little Helper, is something of a tutorial for how he should behave on Halloween.  Instead of going down the obvious path of a troubled and properly bullied young boy who uses his new monstrous friend to exact revenge, we get an hour and a half of scenes that all seem like they are ripped out of different movies with each of them just as out of place and incomprehensible as the last.  For all its tragic flaws, the spirit of the season and moments of pleasure do rise to the surface at times, but it feels more like an accident when this happens, instead of an intentional result.

If he was a pirate for Halloween, he wouldn't have this ninja problem.

Besides the plodding, meandering pace that drags everything about Satan’s Little Helper down, the acting is probably the number one culprit when pointing the finger of blame as to why this movie is, at times, completely insufferable.  Dougie, the little kid around which the story revolves is painfully annoying, and not in that charming, youthful way that countless other movies had gotten away with.  His big sister is also way to uneven and over the top and barely serves the basic of purpose of being the “attractive girl” in the movie.  The mother of those two children is just about the only one in the movie I didn’t want to see get run over by a truck, but that was more by default than anything.  Satan (see below) doesn’t speak at all, and his mime-like moves are novel at first, but quickly become just as awkward and played out as almost everything else the movie offers up by the 45 minute mark.  From a production standpoint, the film is more than serviceable with nice lighting and video quality, but that seems like a moot point when you factor in how little it does to elevate the watch-ability of this turdburger.  It is strange at times, and delightfully so, but just making a movie to be weird isn’t enough unless it has a traditional or time-tested narrative backbone to prop it up once the gimmicks wear off.  The villain is creepy enough, but seeing as how the highlights of any good slasher-esque film should be the eventual deaths, it is shocking to find that there are only something like 2 or 3 on screen deaths, and all of them are absolutely abysmal in quality, creativity, and execution.  I’m ok with some off screen and implied slayings, but when you do finally pull the trigger on showing us a murder, it should at least be mildly impressive, even if you have to copy the idea from another flick.

Satan has a sense of humor. Too bad this movie didn't.

It’s a shame that I decided to re-watch this film before I reviewed, because that is truly 95 minutes of my life I will never get back.  I have certainly seen worse films, and I reiterate the fact that there are moments where it all comes together for Satan’s Little helper and you see what could have been, but those moments are so few and far between that most won’t get to see them because they will be switching dvds to another, better film.  It doesn’t feel amateurish, or overly self-indulgent and self-important.  It just feels like a bad film that isn’t quite bad enough to be fun on a “this is so shitty it’s genius” level and it absolutely isn’t good enough to be recommendable to anyone but the bravest souls who want to say they have seen it all when it comes to Halloween framed pictures.  There just aren’t enough tricks up Satan’s sleeve to make this a treat, and there are times where I’d rather be biting into an apple with a razor blade in it instead of  sitting through the second and third acts.  You’ve been warned.

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Oh, hey Jesus. Yeah I know, even you couldn't save this flick.

Ghostwatch

Greasepaint and Gore

Greasepaint and Gore is a two-part documentary exploring the special effects used to create some of the most memorable creatures in the Hammer horror movies.

Part one explores the creations of Phil Leakey, the first effects guy employed at Hammer and the first makeup artist, ever, to get his name in the credits of a movie.

Leakey terrorized Christopher Lee who, jokingly, threatened to kill Leakey for, as he thought at the time, ruining his career. Lee believed he would be forever typecast as a movie monster. Leakey did the opposite, and helped propel Lee to legendary status through his innovative Dracula makeup.

In all fairness, Lee probably was quite just in his threat to kill Leakey as he quite often had to spend hours under experimental makeup. Bear in mind, effects makeup in those days was in its infancy and all sorts of bizarre, and probably dangerous, materials were used.

the man himself - Phil Leakey

The documentary discusses some of the more well known films that Leakey worked on for Hammer, films such as: Stolen Face; The Quatermass Experiment; The Creeping Unknown; The Curse of Frankenstein and, of course, Dracula!

Under all that (Phil Leakey) makeup is, believe it or not, Christopher Lee!

Although he’s quite old and shaky now, Leakey actually demonstrates how he did some of the makeup! Which is a really nice touch, and also displays some of the actual props he made, such as Dracula’s (blood squirting) fangs and the rather horrendous looking ‘contact lenses’ that Lee had to wear in some shots as Dracula. When I say ‘contact lenses’ they are actually entire eye covers, think of putting one half of a ping-pong ball over your eyeball (under the eyelid) and you’ll get the idea, must have been horrible to wear them, my eyes were watering just thinking about it! It really is amazing when you see how such simple materials work so well when in the hands of a master.

All rise for the almighty, legendary, Christopher Lee...

Many stories are told throughout the documentary from people such as Hammer directors and actors. And you can tell from the stories that they really did have fun while churning out those old classics. Stories such as Hammer being allowed to do a Frankenstein movie but were forbidden to make it look anything like the Karloff version. Leakey did one version which, both him and Lee agree, was God awful. A second test was done where Lee and Leakey were informed that time was up and that it’d have to do. Thankfully it was a good second test!

the now famous Dracula makeup that Leakey did on Lee

Part two begins with the departure, from Hammer, of Leakey (for reasons unknown, as it’s not explained in the documentary) and the entrance of his replacement, Roy Ashton.

Roy Ashton, he's the one with the skin...

Ashton first worked on The Hounds of the Baskervilles. But went on to do many other films including: The Man Who Could Cheat Death; The Mummy (where it was Ashton’s turn to terrorize Lee); The Curse of the Werewolf; The Evil of Frankenstein; Rasputin and several others.

Oliver Reed in (Roy Ashton's makeup for) The Curse of the Werewolf

Unfortunately Ashton passed away before the documentary was made so there’s no interviews with him, or demonstrations from him, but he left behind a library of sketches and audio tapes which are shown, and played, throughout part two. His wife also reads from documents he left behind.

I have to be honest here and say that I’ve not seen that many Hammer movies, but after watching this, I think I’ll have to invest in a box set, or something, as not seeing them is, to be honest, nothing short of criminal.

The only drawback to these two documentaries is the (thankfully sparse) narrator. He is reading, badly, from his script and sounds bored out of his skull. But thankfully most of the information is conveyed through other means.

If you like your old Hammer classics then this is definitely for you, same if your curious about early makeup effects. It’s also a good taster for what the Hammer films are like and which are the best.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Woman just got deadlier, if that's even possible.

Jake West is quickly becoming one of my favorite British” horrody” directors (that’s a word I made up for horror comedies, do you think it will stick?).  My love affair began when I saw Evil Aliens (review forthcoming) and has now been cemented by his latest offering Doghouse.  Where Evil Aliens was a splatterific sci-fi horror mash-up that simultaneously payed homage to and poked fun at a dozen or so movie conventions we all know, love, and loathe, Doghouse sees West moving in on profound territory, the same way that Shaun of the Dead saw Frost, Pegg, Wright mature in their ability to both stir up nostalgia and unbridled fun while coating their narrative with a unique sentiment about the nature of companionship, both friendly and romantic.  West takes a more controversial approach however, borrowing some notions about the bonds that are shared between a group of 20 something guys, while pitting them against a village mostly populated by women that have been the test site for a particularly sexist government experiment that turns women in rabid cannibal zombie-types who crave the flesh of men only.  Finally, a horror film without a “Final Girl.”

Sorry guys, she's married.

If you didn’t catch all that, allow to recap briefly the synopsis of our fair tale.  A group of guys, who are generally at odds and different stages with the opposite sex, plan a trip to a village out in the boonies to help a friend overcome his recent divorce.  When they arrive, the quiet village is all too quiet, and they soon realize that just about every man is dead, the military was recently present in the area, and all women have turned in fem-zombies who have a single item on their menu…men.  It is here where West takes his first stand by managing to avoid the obvious misogynist jokes and tendencies by giving our squad of males many quirks and shortcomings which make their battle with the mutated lady things all the more interesting, and more importantly, hilarious.  There’s a comic book store owner/nerd who sees this as an opportunity to live out an Evil Dead like fantasy about locking wits and weapons with the undead.  There is a chauvinist who truly believes he is the universe’s gift to women, while all indicators point to the opposite, and so on.  They are all introduced quickly in the opening montage, which shows in just a few seconds what type of guy they are.  Once the stage is set, and we are all properly introduced to the players, the real fun begins.  West not only has a wonderfully talented cast to direct (the acting is grade A, much much better than even I was expecting, and I already had high hopes for this one), but also a gauntlet of obstacles for them to overcome which lends itself nicely to some ingenuity as far as weapon choice and creation and some very intricate situational humor.  I won’t go into detail here about the ways they navigate through the village while avoiding detection and certain doom, but rest assured you will get a few chuckles at the very least.  The acting is prime, and the pacing is never dull, but if I have to level one legitimate complaint about Doghouse, it would be that the final few frames leave a little too much to the imagination of the viewer.  It doesn’t ruin the film, especially since Doghouse isn’t a horror movie that is fixated on the finish line, it is instead all about the ride their and how fun that is, but a greater sense of absolute closure or…non-closure wouldn’t have been out of place for such a definite, grounded film.  Still, that’s trying to find things to nitpick in an otherwise vast sea of general praise.

You're supposed to hang the clothes up to dry after the person takes them off. Silly zombie women.

Besides being a fan of the interplay of horror and comedy (and being one of the recent masters of the trade), Jake West is also a guru of gore.  Specifically, how to use gore as both a visceral intensifier of violence and slapstick style humor gags.  There are times in Doghouse where the weak-stomached might go “EWWW” at a scene, only to turn around and laugh hysterically at another kill that is played off more like a joke.  West really juggles this well, flip-flopping between the more light-hearted moments and the downbeat serious ones.  His eye for angles and camerawork never gets in the way either, and his flashiest moments are in the first 10 or so minutes, when he plays with filters and stop screens for a while, before settling into observer mode without much interference in the form of trying to being overly fancy or stylish.  The lightning, which looks mostly natural during the daytime and not overpowering at night helps to give the overall production value the sleek, slick, and professional look this film has from start to finish.  As far as audio, I didn’t pay much attention to the score, but when it popped to the foreground, it never felt out of place, which is always a plus.  Cars, decapitations, golf clubs and the like all pack an appropriate wallop and voices are crystal clear, which is a major benefit seeing as how almost all the humor is embedded deep within snappy conversations.  And finally, the gore is great while not being quite copious as I thought it was going to be.  When it hits though, it lands with KO force.

You know exactly where this is going, and yes it's fucking hilarious. TAKE THAT YOU OLD BITTY!

Jake West has crafted himself yet another winner, and the first real return to form for him since Evil Aliens.  The British setting and cadence helps to give this twisted yarn about the war of sexes some much-needed levity and class, something that would have been rather unobtainable on my side of the pond.  West is showing every sign of becoming a more dangerous director in the horror ranks, and Doghouse shows that he has incorporated more lofty ideals and concepts into his already exemplary understanding of the very core values and mechanics of our beloved genre.  He can make you laugh, squirm a bit, and now he is even showing that he can even make you think for a second or two.  Leave the lady friend out when you watch this one (who am I kidding, no one who writes for Midnight Showing or reads this drivel has a damn girlfriend).

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

The roaming gnome is a MURDERER.

Meet Sam.

The wait is finally over.  Trick ‘r Treat, hyped since early ’07 (and to my knowledge, even a bit before that) to the next big thing is seasonally anchored horror cinema, is an anthology horror film that takes viewers on a blissfully entertaining and brisk jaunt through Warren Valley, Ohio where Halloween is one of the busiest and most prepared for nights on the calender.  Intertwining 5 or so stories, all seen from different perspectives, Trick ‘r Treat is a mash up of some iconic horror creatures and staples, all while never breaking from its perfect pacing by having to give us narrator scenes that wrap up the last story and introduce the next.  The only indicator that a new tale has begun is if we get a EC comic book style overlay on an establishing shot that says “earlier…”  Director and writer Michael Dougherty has crafted himself a borderline masterpiece worthy of a place right next to John Carpenter’s Halloween, and Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow and A Nightmare Before Christmas as one the most atmospheric, jubilant, and synonymous-with-the-season movies I’ve ever had the privilege of laying my prying little eyes on.

Just think of the clean up on November 1st.

There is so much to like about Trick ‘R Treat, I find myself at a slight loss where to begin.  The flick gets off to a rollicking, with a classic, tension building stalk-and-maybe kill sequence that, in a short 5 minutes, sets the tone and pace for the 80 minutes of pure joy that follows.  The atmosphere, highlighted by wonderful work with fog, night-time lighting, and a creepy little score that shows influences, but not outright robbery, of some time tested winners like Psycho and Halloween.  Be mindful that while there are some absolutely terrific shit-your-pants jump scares, Trick ‘R Treat isn’t about, nor is it trying to be, the scariest film on the block.  Quite the contrary, it is trying and succeeds in being a celebration of the undertones and concepts that Halloween was founded on, and a exploration of how it has been bastardized today.  It is, at its core, a series of tales about respect, torwards one another and the dead and of rightful comeuppance, all coated in that notion that even though we get older, and stop believing in the spooky, supernatural, and things that go bump in the night, there is always a little flicker of doubt that lingers in the back of your brain like a piece of bubblegum stuck to your shoe.  You just never know if all those anecdotes are completely full of shit, or frighteningly based on fragments of truth that could, literally, come back to haunt you.  Dougherty and his lens are very rarely ever overly pompous or experimental, but you can truly feel as if the man is really in his element here, as if he was filming and photographing a long lost lover.  The colors just scream Halloween, with every pumpkin and shade of orange popping out at you while the sets and locations (the rock quarry in particular looks stunning) look as dreary and macabre as they allow themselves to be.  Tasteful and slick scene transitions and zero abuse of worthless establishing shots keep us hopping from story to story like a youth frolicking from house to house in search of their favorite candy.  Despite the stories overlapping in some spots or being left alone only to be wrapped up later on, Dougherty manages to keep his plot line juggling smooth and easy to understand.  There are red herrings everywhere, and some of the twists that Dougherty has come up with, both in accordance to the herrings and not, are nothing short of brilliant.  You will have at least one “I totally should of seen that coming and now I feel like a jackass” moment, if not 2 or 3.

The Michael Myers head tilt. Genius little nod to the past.

Brian Cox and Anna Paquin are the big name talent in here, and while I still am not very fond of Paquin, I have to say she does fine in her role,  but brings nothing to it a dozen other actress’s couldn’t have.  Brian Cox however, does everything in his power to steal the entire movie in his segment, and stands out as the cream of the crop in a movie full of actors who not only don’t annoy us (unless they are supposed, like that bitch Macy), but don’t disappoint either.  Besides some quality acting to help make us believe, a good fright flick also needs at least a grain of solid effect work, and without spoiling any of the surprises (any gore scenes or kills or…things I mention would be directly spoiling one of the stories, if not the whole film) the blood, creature work, and gore is all top notch and almost entirely practical.  No CGI garbage here folks, rejoice!  As you have probably guessed from the picture above, the film has thrown in some homages and references to past flicks, which include but are not limited to The Thing (the famous “You gotta be fucking kidding me” line is used to great effect), Evil Dead II (The “Hand” dilemma), and of course, the original Halloween (THE head tilt).  Rest assured though, Trick ‘R Treat doesn’t sit on its hands and hope that some nice blood, make-up, and nods to more famous films will get it through.  There is a fair amount of substance for something that is this short and moves this quickly.  To say anymore, would be to do grave injustice to those of you who haven’t seen it yet, and if you haven’t gotten the hint yet, any fan of anthology, horror, or just the holiday itself needs to see this, pronto.

One very busy child when the holiday rolls around.

After the 2+ year tease, Trick ‘R treat has finally arrived, and I hope it makes even half the impression on a larger audience that it made on me.  Obviously, movies like this have a smaller, more definitive window of when they can be sold effectively and watched, but that doesn’t make it any less of a great little flick.  It has independent blood running through its veins with an outer shell that just oozes passion-filled, high-end production values.  Iconic themes and ideas are revisited in interesting and new ways, and even some new rules and laws are implied which are sure to stick with anyone who loves having a film add a new layer of lore to the most grim of publicly celebrated holidays.  If you are looking for a more recent way to kick-off the season, you can do no better than Trick ‘R Treat.  Just don’t blow out your candles before midnight…traditions are not made to be broken.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars