P.S. I love you guys  & gals.  Give mad props to the author of this on youtube if you dig it.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61RJGQcG_sM&feature=player_embedded

REC 2 (2009)

If you haven’t read my review of [REC] (aka: REC 1, or Quarantine in the case of the US ‘remake’) then do so. It’s a cracking film.

[REC] 2 picks up the very second [REC] ended, I shant spoil the end of either film in this review, but [REC] 2 begins with a SWAT team heading toward the building we saw in [REC]. They’re briefed before entering the building that they must clear the building, but also escort the Doctor who will go in with them. One member of the team is the main camera man but each SWAT team member has their own helmet-mounted camera.

Quarter way in to the movie we’re given an explanation for the virus which started in [REC] and it’s really quite a novel idea. Obviously, I’m not going to give that away in this review as that’d screw everything up and you’d hate me. No, seriously, you would. In fact it might even make you not watch [REC] 2 and I can’t have that.

Around the half-way mark the SWAT team, and Doctor, realise that somehow some kids have gotten in to the building and must be found.

Now, rather than just have one camera for the whole film, the writers neatly overlap several different cameras. So, for example (again, without giving anything away) the SWAT team (via their camera man) spot the kids downstairs and race down to try and get them. Later on in the movie we switch to a camera of kids goofing around on a rooftop/balcony. They end up in the [REC] building and we see some SWAT team guys running down stairs to get them, the kids run and hide. So, that one scene is seen from two cameras and that neatly ties things together, and that happens several times. Nice!

The end of [REC] was quite unexpected, and a nice twist, [REC]2 is the same, a twist ending without being tacky.

The effects are more than adequate, plenty of head-shots (one with a decap no less!) and lots of blood on the infected folk. The story is excellent as, like I said above, it ties in several camera views to one story overlapping them and explaining the virus. Visually there’s the usual battery meters on screen, crackling pictures but this time we have the addition of picture-in-picture views from some of the SWAT team cameras never is the shaky-cam too much to bear.

Make no mistakes about it, [REC] 3 is confirmed for 2011. This could well be my favourite new movie franchise!

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

[REC]2 trailer:

Mangue Negro (Mud Zombies)

I honestly didn’t know what to expect from this film. From what I could initially find on it, I could only assume it was an independently made film, obviously foreign (from the title) and could very well suck ass.

But it didn’t.

The story of Mangue Negro (aka: Mud Zombies, but I’m sure it’s probably supposed to be Mangrove Zombies, but I’m no language expert) is as thus:

“One day, in a fishermen and hunters’s community, as poor and as timeless it can be, nature decides to show it’s macabre side. From the mangrove swamp, where they get the wretched sustenance, Cannibal zombies emerge. Nobody knows the cause of this “contamination”. The important thing is to run and survive, to run again. With every bite, parents, friends and brothers, become awful creatures.

In front of a horror that doesn’t move back, not even with the daylight, that doesn’t exempt fish or crustaceans, an obstinate and fearful survivor is revealed, skillful with the axe and terrible when the moment comes to declare to the brunet who makes his heart beat.” (taken from http://www.manguenegro.com)

The movie opens with a couple of locals boating down a stretch of water, the old man babbling on about how the waters used to be teaming with life, and his companion looking bored as all hell since he’s heard these stories a hundred times. Then we switch to a crab hunter, plodding through the mud trying to find the last elusive crabs. He also manages to come across a dead body. Which is nice. Next we’re introduced to Luis, one of the main characters in the movie, who has a crush on the local hottie, Rachel. Rachel lives with her infirm parents in a small wooden shack, her mother is bed ridden, and her father is in a wheelchair. The local crab buyer visits Rachels dad to get his new stash and we find that the crab hunter is actually Rachel’s brother. Unfortunately, Rachel’s brother has, not only just lost a stash of crabs, but met some local undead folk.

Rachel’s brother, scratched and mauled to pieces, ends up at Luis’ place where he talks about being attacked by dead people. He, of course, dies and becomes the first undead that we see, and let me tell you, he’s not the slow lumbering zombie of yesteryear, by jiminy no, he’s an aggressive big bastard who rips his way through a door with his bare hands!

Rachel's brother is seriously PISSED about being dead...

The two fishermen that we met first, have a bit of a run in with zombies and the old man with the same stories, ends up meeting with Luis and Rachel and the trio have to try and escape their zombie ridden mangrove swamp.

The acting isn’t exactly Oscar winning, but I couldn’t give a rats ass about that, the story is good, the effects are excellent for this being a cheap movie from Brazil and there’s no CGI! Hooray!

Effects range from aging makeup, I’m quite sure the two old women in the film are probably played by men, through to the obvious zombie makeup, but there’s also some nice animatronic zombie stuff, a zombie who seems to be controlled muppet-style, and even a touch of good ol’ stop-motion animation! YAAYYY!

This short sequence, of a zombie throwing a chair, looks like stop-motion animation to me. BIG RESPECT to the makers for including stop-motion, a dying art (no pun intended).

The effects themselves are carried out nicely and there’s enough blood here to satisfy the more gore hungry viewers. There’s plenty of head-shots and limb chopping.

In the camera department, there’s a fair bit of shaky-cam, but it’s not too much – it’s used to great effect in zombie chase/attack sequences to give the viewer a sense of panic. Excellent touch. The colours are nice too, with nice lighting in most places.

This is a cracking independent movie that deserves all the attention it gets. It uses good, old fashioned, effects and to good effect.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Official website (English version): http://www.manguenegro.com/english/Default.aspx
(the Video section has several ‘making of’ clips)

Mangue Negro trailer:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqvsz6_MWpY

Slasher goodness!

Hell Night doesn’t look like much on the surface.  A slasher released in the heyday of slasher-mania, it also throws its hat into the ring of the “fraternity/sorority initiations gone wrong” sub-genre which saw many young, perky, and nubile young men and women pitted against murder happy psychos and sickos who are often to thought to exist only in the over active imaginations of impressionable 20-somethings who are looking to scare the heck out of pledges as a rite of passage into their order.  But instead of embracing the exploitative nature of the sub-genre, Hell Night instead offers up a competent entry into the realm of slashers done right, tapping into the Victorian atmosphere of the Garth manor where much of the tale is played out in.

Four pledges, broken down into two groups of two by personality (the two who are merely there because it seems like the thing to do in modern day society, and the other two who are horn dogs and looking to live it up during their college days) are locked overnight inside Garth manor, a castle like estate that is shrouded in blood-stained legend and booby trapped by the fraternity president, his floozy blond girlfriend, and his right hand man and all around tech-guy.  After some of their pranks go off without a hitch, the guests within the manor, and their pranksters roaming outside the estate begin encountering forces and inhabitants who aren’t all that pleased that their final, or not so final, resting place has been chosen as the venue for their little annual initiation game.

Our four willing contestants. 6 if you count Linda Blair's ample bosom.

What immediately sets Hell Night apart amongst the flock of near identical slasher fair being forged and promoted at the time is the fact that our four main characters have more than one layer to their personalities, and are capable of some impressive feats of reasoning and detection.  They are also all capable of showing multiple sides of themselves, and even if those sides are a little thin, it’s a pleasure to see that enough care was given to make our potential victims worthy of at least a smidgen of our attention and sympathy, which makes the cat and mouse elements and near constant threats to their lives in the second and thirds acts just that much more engaging.  Linda Blair, famous for The Exorcist and, as of 1981, not quite yet being the ultimate B-movie Queen we know and love her for today, stars and leads, and does a really admirable job in making a claim for fame with her acting ability.  It doesn’t hurt that she has a very young and innocent look at this point in her acting career, along with a body many lusted after.  In one of her best moments in the film, she is having a conversation with her romantic interest, and intellectual equal within the manor, Jeff about the reason why they have decided to go to college and sign up for their respective fraternities and sororities.  They talk about how Jeff is from a richer family, and how Jeff’s main reasoning for getting involved in Alpha Sigma Row was because of his fathers wishes.  Marty (Linda Blair) then explains that her motivation was that if she helped her less intelligent and educationally motivated sisters pass certain courses, she would get a car to use, a new wardrobe, and some other perks.  They even explore a bit of the difference between the rich, white collar background that Jeff comes from compared to the blue collar world Marty knew growing up as a child, which has bestowed upon her all the knowledge of being a proper mechanic (I wonder how having the skills of a mechanic could assist Marty later on down the line in a slasher film.  Hmmmmm.)  The other two pledges, Denise and Seth, are the more typically shallow college students, interested more in cocaine, Quaaludes, and liquor, but even they have a discussion about their passions in life outside of drinking, drugs, and pre-marital, death-warrant-signing sex that hints at something underneath their frivolities.  Peter Bennet, president of Alpha Sigma Row, and his girlfriend May and crony Scott, are also solid characters, showing confidence from an acting standpoint and the proper amount of borderline psychopathic menace required to pull off such a mean-spirited set of pranks.

Got to love old school, see through, shambling ghosts.

The look and feel of Hell Night is also cause for some minor jubilation, as a majority of the film takes place inside an inexplicably well furnished (12 years since anyone’s been in there, but they still have beds complete with blankets, functioning toilets, and lit candles in every room) manor that’s quite huge and contains a mysterious and and cavernous geography.  The house is multiple levels high (3 or more) and has some maze like caves underneath as well as  a pond/moat deal and is surrounded by foliage and woods on either side, all encased by an extremely high and pointy fence with a gate entrance in front.  The director, Tom DeSimone, makes the appropriate amount of love to the exterior and interior of the building, and while I can’t be sure how much was a set and how much was an actual location, it all works seamlessly and rarely takes you out of illusion that you are on such a lore-laden property that seems stuck in a Victorian past.  One would figure that with such a cast and set up, we would be privy to gratuitous nudity and unrealistic sex scenes, but DeSimone spares us that, instead shooting for subtle, mostly off screen romance while interrupting any on screen loving with well-timed jolts and revelations.  Speaking of well-timed jolts, DeSimone and his audio team may have the best “DONG!” sounds to emphasize the incredibly jump-worthy and off-beat boo scares.  DeSimone doesn’t wait until the audience has had time to catch their breath before telegraphing his next jump scene, and instead uses the predictability of other, lesser slashers to his advantage by throwing in scares on the beats a few steps before or after when you expect the boo scare to pop up.  This flick made me jump 4 separate times, and none of the thrills seem cheap either.  They all came at times where I was generally interested in what was happening anyway, instead of times where the movie had nothing going on and a a boo scare would have been the only way to justify a particularly unnecessary scene.  Since the entire film takes place during the night, I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that no part of the movie is too dark to see clearly, and that the atmosphere is handled very well, driving home the blustery, autumnal night this film is taking place on without being too obvious about it.  The pacing may be my only true beef with DeSimone, as the film seems to drag a bit when the second act is coming to a close and the third and final act is getting underway.  Had this flick been shaved down 10-20 minutes, I think it would’ve moved at a much more brisk and relentless pace.  As it plays now, it seems to wander and shamble a bit too much at points, albeit for good, story-based reasons.  But still a little more of a scissor happy approach in the editing room would have had me at the edge of my seat continually.

The Killer seems to have a thing for severing heads, and I'm totally down with that.

As I mentioned a bit earlier, the look and the feel of the film is spot on, creating all the spookiness you would hope to hear and see from a proper slasher film, along with some really nice, flashy death and special effects sequences.  Some of the slayings take place off screen, but more often than not we are treated to quick, but brutal on screen killings that make up for their lack in creativity with the impact of great sound effect accompaniments and overall swiftness.  The killer is pretty effective when dealing out the death, and the fact that he has this famaliar playground to do it in, that is well lit, shot, and scored, makes it all the more fun for us fans of the sub-genre.  Aside from the “DONG!” notes that push the boo scares on us so well, the score is also just as impressive, while sadly not being terribly memorable.  There is no recognizable theme, but instead it all feels moody and dark enough to fit the action taking place.  Better yet though, the score doesn’t try to blatantly rip-off any more well-known slasher themes, so at the very least it is unique and well-suited for this particular movie.  The gore is a bit on the light side, but in a flick so rich with atmosphere and some very tense moments, it is ok for it not to be drenched in red.  For those wondering if there are any super memorable kills in Hell Night though, I can tell you with absolute certainty that the “final kill” which ends the film is a howler, and I actually rewound it a few time because the setup to it and the pay off seem accidental and unrelated, which makes the kill itself even more impressive.

Are carpets supposed to stand up on their own like that?

Much Like Madman, Hell Night is a slasher fans slasher, at least in my book.  It has that off-beat, groovy vibe going for it which keeps a viewer on his or her toes throughout most of the film, and it looks, feels, and sounds every bit as spooky and creepy as it should.  It doesn’t reinvent the slasher, but for every step it doesn’t take forward into the land of groundbreaking progression, it takes one step to the left, being just different enough to hold your attention and warrant a special place above the cesspool of more shallow, cash hungry knock-offs of the tried and true formula.  The acting is more than a few notches above what should be realistically expected, it sounds amazing, and if it weren’t for some questionable pacing at key points, this could be one of those examples of how a relatively unknown successor to the heavyweights of the genre had actually trumped the champions.  If you are looking for one “hell” of a October night slasher double-bill, I would couple Hell Night with Madman.  Just another reason never to go to college, and never to join a fraternity or sorority.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Thank you wardrobe.

—————-
Now playing: Bohren & der Club of Gore – Ringfinger
via FoxyTunes

The art of succesful poster creation. Tell them everything, without telling them anything.

Once in a blue moon, when discussing movies with friends or cohorts, I resort to an old saying in order to do a particular film justice.  I tell them that they just need to watch the film, and that saying anything would be giving them too much information and be a spoiler to the experience.  Body Parts is definitely one of those films, and the poster and title say more than enough to entice a viewer into watching it.  For those who need it spelled out however, I will give you a super abbreviated, bare bones synopsis of the plot.

Bill Chrushank (Jeff Fahey), a criminal psychologist, loses his arm in a brutal car accident.  He undergoes experimental surgery which grants him a new, fully operable, human appendage.  Little did he know that the former owner of the arm was a vicious and psychopathic serial killer.

For the record, Fahey is up there with big Bruce Campbell for "Actors who should have blown up in popularity."

Seeing as how a plot like this doesn’t lend itself to being a typical horror movie which can bank on creature effects or scares to keep it afloat, the acting must step in to give the characters on all sides of this medical miracle tale a fair amount of depth and weight.  Jeff Fahey plays our lead Bill Chrushank, and it is through his eyes, emotions, and ordeals that we see much of the movie develop.  As stated in the caption above, I still scratch my head in total wonderment over how Fahey didn’t turn into a fairly big star during the 90′s.  He had the look, a presence and suaveness to him, and piercing eyes which give him a unique glare and seriousness.  His work in Body Parts may be his best ever, as it allows him to shine in impressive ways, both psychically and emotionally.  A young and talented Kim Delaney plays his wife Karen, and even though her role isn’t as massive as Fahey’s, she is believable and has good on screen chemistry with him making their marriage sub-plot seem all the more interesting.  Brad Dourif also comes in for a supporting role, and does what Brad Dourif always does, be the “out there” guy in the film who can add humor and psychosis while being really likable and leaving a great impression on his character and the audience.  Paul Ben-Victor also has a bit part, but it’s one that is pivotal in the early stages of film, and much like Dourif, he comes in, does his job superbly, and then steps out.  I would be remiss in I didn’t mention the soothing and credible acting of Lindsay Duncan, a fairly accomplished Scottish actress who plays Chrushanks brilliant doctor who performs the experimental surgery.

THE Brad Dourif.

Eric Red serves as both co-writer of the screenplay (this film was loosely based off a novel entitled “Choice Cuts”) and our director, and a splendid one at that.  You may know Red’s name from the recently released 100 Feet starring Famke Janssen.  Eric uses a technique that I have been noticing more and more in “horror” films, where the movie starts off somewhat bright and naturally lit, but as the character we follow gets sucked more and more into his story, we see the lightning becoming more dim, more heavily filtered with more aggressive lighting, creating something of a nightmare state in a visual sense.  Red also utilizes some slow motion, even going as far as to stop the movie entirely for one split second during the car crash in the first few minutes.  It’s really good stuff all around, stylized enough to give the film, and the director, a distinct flavor and savvy visual presentation, while not bogging it down and making it feel indulgent and overly flashy.  Red also knows how to film action, as evidenced best by the crash early on in the flick.  His lens is educated and careful, but he also knows when to infuse some “movie lover” cleverness in to make things pop or emphasize a particular event.  Again, I’m tiptoeing around here trying not to give away anything about the latter part of the film, but just trust me on this one.  You will see things in this film that aren’t in any other movie I have ever seen.

Well...it is called Body Parts. What did you expect?

The Special effects we are treated to are all of the highest caliber.  From the surgery scene, to the wicked car crash, to thbe ody parts in preservation, it is all very realistic feeling, and devoid of the laughable quality that even the best horror movies can’t help but include.  If I hadn’t made it clear before now, this is a pretty serious flick in tone, which isn’t to say that you won’t have fun viewing it.  Just don’t expect to be giggling along with it.  If I had to put it into words, the story is tidy, but ultimately grim, and the effects work certainly reflect that notion.  The car crash (I know I’m harping on this car crash a lot, but damn it is one of my favorites ever, along the one in Final Destination 2) is really brutal and not the long, drawn out spectacle that we are used to seeing today.  The blood and…body parts that are on display are also eerily well done, to the point where if I had seen them in real life, I may not be able to tell if they were fake or not (see picture above).  For the people out there who are looking for confirmation of some violence and/or gore, I can confirm that for you right now.  But as to who and how and when, that is for you to find out on your own.

Surgery is not a pretty business.

Body Parts is a film that benefits from it anonymity.  I went into it almost completely blind, and came out much better for not having any knowledge of the inner workings of it’s mechanics.  It is slightly slower than modern day, epilepsy inducing cinema, but I guarantee the last third of the film, including the “pay-off”, is masterfully done and well worth the build-up, mild confusion (which IS resolved thoroughly), and the patience one must exhibit for the first 50 minutes or so while things get underway and set up.  And that might be the highest compliment I can pay Eric Red and his cohorts.  I can honestly say that through out the movie, I was never quite sure what direction this movie might take.  It wasn’t that I was being left in the dark by shoddy film making, but the way it unfolds makes you wonder what is next, while your mind races to try and figure out how something so seemingly beneficial and miraculous could possibly go awry.  Body Parts is equal parts psychological and physical thriller, mystery, and action film, tinged ever so slightly with the backdrop of  “body horror,” and it you have patience to let this one envelop you, it may just become a sleeper hit you’ll be glad to awake.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Take two of these and call me in the morning.

—————-
Now playing: Nadja – Numb
via FoxyTunes

Gotta love that tagline.

Dellamorte Dellamore (translated to Of Death Of Love, which can then be easily jumbled around to Love of the Dead) is a title better known to most American audiences as Cemetery Man.  Regardless of which title you prefer to adopt for it however, it is a film that is widely considered by horror aficionados as the last great Italian horror film, and in particular the last standout zombie picture in the long lineage of the countries contributions to the sub genre.  While Fulci and his peers were busy pushing the limits of on screen violence and nurturing the inherit apocalyptic nature of the dead coming back to life, writer/journalist/novelist Tiziano Sclavi was hard at work on what we might call a comic book series called Dylan Dog about an investigator who looked into nightmares.  As with anything that is held in even remotely high regard in print, it was loosely adapted for the silver screen.  While that history is certainly interesting, and may even give insight into the wildly surreal and dream like qualities of Cemetery Man, it isn’t vital to enjoying and thinking critically about the movie itself.  What is of utmost importance is the ability to just go with the quite jarring and constantly morphing flow of the picture, allowing yourself and your imagination to free associate the many clues and symbols embedded within the flick, and let your mind fill in the gaps that arise from its sordid and often misconstrued storytelling methods.

Our story is, at its base, one of a cemetery keeper who has not only the nasty chore of burying the recently deceased, but keeping them under the pounds of dirt he shovels on top of them.  See, Francesco Dellamorte (an ironic name that even the character pokes fun at in the very beginning of the film) battles zombies almost nightly, and with his trusty revolver and spade, and the assistance of his near mute helper Gnagi, he keeps the tenants of Buffalora cemetery within the gates by either shooting them in the head, or driving objects through their rotting skulls.  For a horror movie, this is more than enough to justify a standard 90 minute run time, but what makes Cemetery Man  so interesting and open to interpretation is that it is a film with films inside it.  There are love stories for both of our flawed and damaged reluctant heroes (Gnagi and Frances), there is a ingeniously deceptive detective story complete with twist, and then there is the ultimate question that plagues any intellectual viewer of this movie.  Where on Earth, or outside of Earth, is this all taking place?  Before I throw down my loose theories about the messages and mysteries contained within, let me first analyze it as a piece of  horror entertainment.

This is exactly how I open my door.

Cemetery Man leans heavily on the acting of its male lead Rupert Everett, which is a good thing considering he does a magnificent job conveying the many facets of Frances without the movie or the character ever coughing up any major information as to his personal history.  Besides mentioning that he doesn’t read much and never finished high school, we are instead treated to my personal favorite of all methods for establishing a characters motives, values, and even their beliefs.  The method is simply his actions.  His movements, the way he expresses his emotions and treats those close to him, and almost every other behavior all compiles together into giving us a better understanding of Frances, and if you take the plunge and see this movie (or watch it again, which I also highly recommend) you will learn that understanding Frances may be the key to understanding the film as a whole.  Outside of our enigmatic lead, Anna Falchi also graces the screen with her unique beauty, and brings some acting and modeling credentials to the multiple characters she plays, all of whom are cryptically named as “She” only.  She may not be the best actress, and at times it seems like either she is being subtly dubbed or having a hard time speaking perfect English (she is Italian after all), but for what her characters demand, it seemed fitting that someone who is beautiful, but not in a conventional sense, would play those parts.  In particular, I noticed that her eyes and eye make up changed for each of her 3 “shes” she plays, which may denote a change in the film itself, perhaps opening another chapter every time she reappears.  Gnagi, played by François Hadji-Lazaro, also lends a great deal of depth to the set of personalities on screen, and without hardly muttering any words, and not a full sentence until the very end of the picture, manages to serve as the loyal, but sometimes useless, compatriot to Frances.  He is there with him through thick and thin, and seems to serve as a reminder to Frances that even as along as he feels, he never truly is completely alone.  The rest of the supporting cast are all good, but they get nearly as much time and dialogue as these 3 do, which means that I don’t feel the need to elaborate on their fine performances.  But trust me, they are all well beyond adequate, and in the odd case there is someone you don’t particularly like, don’t worry, they will be dead soon enough.

Frances and "She" spending some quality time in the ossuary.

Michele Soavi (who directed another one of my favorite horror flicks of all time, Stagefright), with competent acting in hand, wastes no time in unraveling his surreal and morbid vision.  The pacing of the film is incredible, surrendering the typical pseudo-tension found in most horror flicks for an off-beat but blistering tempo that is always striking you with violence, sex, dark twisted comedy, or a combination of those 3.  Soavi comes off as a fan and student of the Italian Spaghetti horror films that dominated the underground and foreign markets for much of the 80′s, while at the same time balancing the tragic and dreamy mind fuck that is the narrative.  As I mentioned earlier, it seems like there is at least two movies being told at once, with the major determining factor between the two being the night and day cycle, as well as the lighting and the soundtrack changes.  Night time looks amazingly detailed, never suffering from “I can’t see SHIT” disease that I hate with a every fiber of my being.  Soavi also employs some clever POV shots, usually from the perspective of the dead or soon to be dead person in the scene.  It is used just enough to cement it as a legitimate tool in Soavis directing arsenal, but is done with enough restraint to not come off as a simple gimmick.  If you are a fan of European architecture with a Gothic flair to it, the scenes within the cemetery and surrounding area are sure to please you.  The film really shines during the night scenes more so than the day, and it reeks of a perfect unison between director, cinematographer, and photographer, who all seemed to understand how to make scenes not only look beautifully lit and well composed, but dark, eerie, and other worldly all at the same time.  This is without a doubt one of the most visually arresting horror movies I’ve ever seen, and maybe the best to date.

One of the clever POV shots in the film.

While it is commonplace in modern cinema to have sound effects and a inappropriately loud and obnoxious soundtrack or score dominant the dialogue of a film, it wasn’t so common even up through the mid 90′s.  The sound in Cemetery Man will probably sound dated to most, but then again you can say that the sound in JAWS is dated, in which my response to both is fuck you.  Gunshots are clear and sound as if they are being shot from a gun that has been shot many times before.  The soundtrack deliberately switches many times in order to extract or set a mood for a particular scene.  The dialogue also comes off fairly clean, although it could have been more crisp, but we will chalk that up to it not being a production that was not made on an astronomically large budget.  Whatever mild sins may have been committed by the available technology in the audio department are surely made up for by the special effects and visuals ten fold.  The blood and gore is incredibly visceral and strong, and Soavi shows confidence in his splatter man when he doesn’t jerk his camera away from head shots and other grisly images.  Speaking of which, this may be the movie with the most head shots I have ever personally seen, and each one looks more dynamite than the last.  Lighting, set design, filter choices, costumes and make up are all top notch and don’t feel dated or cheesy in the slightest.  If this movie were made in America, you would be able to spot the outdated attire and social wear from a mile away, but since this movie is a European production, the clothes have much more of a timeless and classic feel.  Same goes for the locations.  Beautiful architecture really helps set the stage, and the cemetery itself seems full of wondrous little alleys and coves begging to be explored.  It looks like the kind of movie you want to jump right into just to walk around and explore it.

Goodbye Boy Scout. Send the girls back with some cookies.

Cemetery Man is, or at least was for me, an answer to many wishes when it comes to my beloved zombie sub genre.  It is fast paced,never boring and it combines trippy, almost hallucinogenic visuals with classic elements of European horror film making.  It is unapologetic in its cryptic nature, which some have unfairly dubbed as simply confusing, and it is a startling example of how to try an add depth to something that could have existing solely on its surface values.  If you consider yourself a zombie film fan, or even a horror fan in general, and you haven’t seen this, you should do so immediately.  It belongs within every conversation about horror, especially if the conversation is about classics of the 90′s, and can even be looked at (as I do below, beware though it is full of spoilers) in an analytical sense if you are so inclined to try and figure out what is really happening.  Either way, don’t let this one sit there in your “Yeah, I’ll get around to it” pile.  You’ll learn to Love the Dead.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Fuck, that is an awesome giant puppet.

BONUS THEORIES!

Now onto my theories about the actual meaning and psychology behind the film.  If you haven’t yet watched it, I suggest you do at this point.  Cemetery man at first struck me as a story of a man in purgatory or hell, who is meant to learn about the differences between life and death (see his short talk with the death stature towards the end of the film for confirmation of this) or maybe even life itself while he himself rots in a cemetery where he must “re-kill” the undead.  The “She” character could easily be seen as the Devil, as every time she pops up, Frances sets himself back further from learning anything from his mistakes as he takes the bait on her “love” and pays dearly for it every time.  Outside of a religious context to the tale, there is also the possibility that Frances has a very vivid imagination, and that isolation, besides his friend Gnagi who could ALSO be seen as just an elaborate hallucination, has started to play tricks on his mind to the point where he truly believes the dead rise up from the ground and that it is his job to put down the “Returners” as he so eloquently puts it.  There is also the possibility that whenever night time comes along, what happens during the dark is a dream, and maybe he sleepwalks and acts out his dreams.  Of course, these are all just theories, each one having massive holes in them, and would welcome anyone to help me formulate an airtight meaning to this very cryptic gem I love so dearly and hold close to my horror loving heart.

END OF BULLSHIT THEORIES!

The Devil? Perhaps.

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Now playing: Nadja – Clinging To The Edge Of The Sky
via FoxyTunes

Actor Lance Hayward will make a comeback even if it kills you!

Wow. I couldn’t find a bad review of this movie, and I went looking for them after I watched it. Too bad I didn’ t look it up before watching it, but I fell victim to my pathological love for anything 80s.

Granted, most of the reviews were about Skinemax scream queen Michelle Bauer’s full frontal and Jamie Summers’s boobs, but naked women are supposed to be a fun part of a horror movie, not a means to distract the viewer from the fact that about a third of the movie is missing. Or maybe in this case that is why they were naked.

This movie had a good concept. Retarded teenagers break into a Hollywood mansion the night before it is to be demolished and die exactly like characters in the former owner’s movies. The deaths are pretty great, I have to say.  Not ten minutes into the movie a guy gets his hands tied to a tree and his feet tied to his own car bumper and we get a great shot of his torso coming apart while his head screams.

The problem is that someone somewhere thought the concept of incorporating silent films into the movie was a literal one. Every death is intercut with shots of fake posters from the fake movies and stock footage of real movies where a character uses the same weapon that is being used to kill the slasher fodder kids. Combined with the ginormous plotholes and the fact that the stock footage padding still only gives us a running time of 80 minutes I have to wonder if this is one of those movies that was finished with a different crew WAAAAY after shooting began, or maybe there was a terrible accident and footage was lost forever. Oh, and there are three screenwriters credited, which is never a good sign.

So if any of you who liked this movie will indulge me, I have a few questions. Is the killer the ghost of Lance Hayward, and if so, why does he walk from his mansion and break into a house to kill the last two survivors? Couldn’t he just appear wherever he wanted? How did the survivors get home? Why are they eating a cake in the next shot after they escape the mansion leaving all their dead friends behind? What happened to the entire next day after the murders? How does the ghost know which house to walk to, and what is the deal with the collie he leads around?

Another feature of this piece of crap is its overuse of old B movie actors like Alan Hale, Aldo Ray and Dan Haggerty (credited here as Daniel). The only cameo actor who does anything, other than get off work early or die, is the cop played by Cameron Mitchell, and can you really call any work he does a cameo? I don’t think that man ever turned down an acting job.  How does Mitchell know to show up at the house where the two survivors are eating cake, and why does he scream at the final girl that he wants to see her face and her eyes? Why is there surveillance outside the house who do nothing at all when a guy crashes through a window and gets skewered by a white picket fence?

I have to give this a three, unfortunately, for all the nakedness and gore, but it would have gotten a four if the makers had cared about anything other than quick money from rentals. This would have been a great choice for one of our group reviews. Much better than the Baron and the Demons, not as good as Humanoids From the Deep.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

The upside is, zombies are probably cheap dates and they can't say no.

Night of the Creeps (or just Creeps for short) straddles the line between what I feel is too popular to review, and what is under the radar enough to write about.  If you haven’t noticed, I rarely write anything about movies that already have established a strong set of fair and thorough reviews online.  Creeps however, has seen a boom in popularity and visibility in the Internet era, mostly due to the fact that it has yet to be released on DVD so many turn to the web for info and access to rare cinema.  But thanks to endless efforts of the piracy generation, Creeps remains watchable in many places on the web, which is very fortunate considering that this movie is easily, and beyond any shadow of a doubt, one of the best movies not only of 80′s, but of the entire genre as a whole.

Fred Dekker, who both wrote and directed this gem, seamlessly combines unbridled appreciation for the genre as well as mixing in elements that “spoof” the many trends he saw being beaten to death by the explosion of horror clones and cliches that erupted during the 80′s.  In modern times, spoof has become a dirty word (thanks for ruining the lineage, Scary Movie), but Dekker shows that poking fun at something doesn’t mean you can’t, yourself, make a great movie full of heart and homages to the icons of the very film community you are lampooning.  This is nowhere more obvious than in the names of many of the characters in the film, which range from Cynthia Cronenberg,  Christopher Romero, to Detective Sergeant Raimi.

Oh geese, if Roger Corman did ever open a school, it would no doubt be along the Devil's Highway. One of many inside jokes to be found in Night of the Creeps.

Speaking of the characters, these may be some of the best, and funniest, of the horror class.  Dekker has balanced the two accepted methods of character development, the first of which being back story and character to character exposition.  The second, and the more difficult to pull off, is letting the characters actions and behaviors define and legitimize them.  Of course, without good acting, this is nigh impossible.  Genre vet Tom Atkins shows up as the haunted and disgruntled cop and does a great job at adding levity and back story to the nameless college town.  Much credit must also be given to Jason Lively, Steve Marshall, and Jill Whitlow, who turn what could have easily been flat, two dimensional college kids trying to find themselves into likable, mature, and often deep on-screen persona’s who help to drive home both the surface action and events, and the messages that Dekker has implanted within his wildly efficient script.  The rest of the cast does a wonderful job of bringing to life the more stereotypical characters, with the two noteworthy bit parts being played by David Paymer and Dick Miller.  It’s rare that good to great acting and rapid fire, natural feeling dialogue come together in something as unsuspecting as a “horror movie”, but Creeps is proof positive that movie class limitations are never all enclusive, and that exceptions exist and can still hold up to its past contemporaries, as well as its modern day ones.

I was going to make a Walt Disney joke here, but the movie actually does that in this scene. Gotta love the 80's idea of futuristic science and labs, which seem to be purple or blue lighting, and many buttons blinking arbitrarily.

Dekker, in his first voyage behind the camera, makes amazing use of every bit of his ephemeral 1 hour and 28 minute run time.  Creeps never gives you a second to become bored, and Dekker manages to cram a ghost story, a slasher story, a love story, a coming of age story, a friendship story, a parasite alien story, and a zombie story into one movie without losing sight of any of the many strands of narrative he has weaved.   Normally, when a movie tries to do this much, it winds up finding itself lost trying to fuse together too many different types of pacing and thematic motifs.  Dekker however, seems to have viewed this as little more than an old wives tale, as he masterfully throws together all the major brands of genre film into one pot, deriving the best that each has to offer, while keeping some of the charming flaws intact in order to either use them for a comedy piece, or just as a humble and loving tribute to the flicks that he himself must have been very fond of.  Dekker’s directing comes off as a delicate mid-point between being both a fan of the groundbreaking and popular films and filmmakers that came before him, as well as being a student of what made those pictures so legendary and appealing to both himself and the masses.  Lighting and pacing are of the highest order, and Dekker never falls victim to bad nighttime shooting or lingering on scenes or shots that just don’t require that much focus.  His lens is mainly an observer, but there are moments when he uses a bit of flash to put emphasis on a particular scene.  Dekker also shows great understanding on how to shoot an action sequence, of which Creeps has a few, and he also knows how to built up to and deliver a satisfying payoff to his audience without leaving them feeling cheated in the slightest.  I could go on and on about how Dekker really  knocked this one out of the park, but I will instead just say that he indeed did shoot a great looking film that has no glaring flaws and moves like a speeding train.

Thrill me.

The technical package from Creeps is nothing short of sublime.  The already mentioned lightning is superb, but alongside this are some dynamite effects and tight audio.  The soundtrack doesn’t really stand out, besides clever use of some 50′s pop standards like “Smoke Gets in your Eye” to set the mood in the beginning and also forewarn of more danger during the final few scenes.  I am fine with the fact it doesn’t stand out, since the dialogue is so snappy, witty, and razor sharp that it would be a shame for music to overshadow that strength.  Visually, the picture is very crisp and clean, obviously aided by Dekker’s careful eye in framing and presenting shots that show the audience in crystal clarity everything you need to see.  The blood, gore, and special effects are entirely of the practical variety, meaning those of us who love rubber, latex, and Karo syrup can rejoice.  Thankfully, the R Rating means that exploding heads, heads blown up by flamethrowers (has to be seen to be believed), grisly bullet hits and like are all unhampered by the crutch of modern day computing technology and other such bullshit, cop-out wankery.  Creeps looks spotless, boasts some awesome special effects that don’t shy away from the more hardcore gore, and music knthat ows when to move to the forefront, and when to stay in the back and subtly do its job.

So...is that what a splitting headache looks like? I know, that joke sucked. I'll be over here in the corner, killing myself.

Night of the Creeps may have a devoud, cult-like following, but I feel if even one more person read this review and hunts it down and watches it, then it is a success.  Dekker and company have crafted film(s) within films here, with clever jokes hidden throughout (see if you can spot the Monster Squad reference and always look at posters and books in the main characters living spaces) and a breakneck pace that is always busy assaulting the viewer with something worth paying attention too.  It manages to coral many subplots and thematic devices, while telling two main stories (The “two geeks” story and the detectives story), each so good and thorough they could have been separate movies.  The acting seems otherworldly it’s so good, and the special effects and visuals all feel as comforting as the cool side of the pillow, striking a balance between campy and homely, and professional and impressive.  Night of the Creeps is something of an enigma, a missing link, and if nothing else, a silent legend in the annals of our beloved genre.  If you have yet to experience what all the hub-bub is about, it is about fucking time.  If you didn’t know what Night of the Creeps was until now, consider yourself enlightened.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Here are 2 links to watch the movie for free, in its entirety.  Both links tested and confirmed working, Veoh requires you sit through a short ad, and Youtube is broken into parts, but they both work!

Youtube

Veoh

P.S.  There are two endings to this film, I have included the Wikipedia page and a fan based page that explains the differences.  Both are good, although the original, longer ending that Dekker wanted to use is definitely better.  Worth a read only after you see the film, as it does contain some spoilers.

Night of the Creeps Wikipedia Page

Night of the Creeps Alternate Ending Synopsis and pictures.

"Get Your Heart Broken" Certainly a nominee for best tag line of 2009, and maybe of all time.

When I heard that the powers that be in Hollywood were remaking My Bloody Valentine, I actually WASN’T all that upset.  The Original MBV (see our dual review here!) is a GREAT 80′s style slasher flick that was unfortunately largely overlooked due to the genre being over saturated with soulless clones.  Even though the original still holds up amazingly well, and the recently released uncut version adds a  lot more bite from a gore and brutality standpoint, it feels dated enough to warrant a….”heartfelt” (see what I did there?) remake.  Fortunately for old school slasher fans, the remake does a decent job of retelling the story of Harry Warden, while staying true to many of the devices that made the original so memorable and sought after.

“Tom returns to his hometown on the tenth anniversary of the Valentine’s night massacre that claimed the lives of 22 people. Instead of a homecoming, however, Tom finds himself suspected of committing the murders, and it seems like his old flame is the only one will believes he’s innocent.”~IMDB

Harry Warden does NOT fuck around.

So we have a small mining town, tucked away in the middle of “the land time forgot” America.  Great, because we all know those are the safest places when the town tries to hide a secret.  Anyway, what little plot that imdb synopsis doesn’t fill you in on, the opening credits do.  Is it just me, or does anyone else LOVE IT when the opening credits are actually useful?  It seems like such a waste to just have some music playing and credits and titles going.  MBV already gets a bonus half star for not wasting my fucking time by having me listen to a lackluster score while they rattle off names of actors and actresses who are in the movie for 30 seconds.  We are off to a great start.

Speaking of actors and actresses, MBV manages to avoid a major pitfall that sinks many of the remakes us horror fans have had to endure over the last decade; casting.  Jamie King, known for her titillating role in Sin City, does a fine job as being our “main girl” ala Laurie Strode.  She brings a morsel of nuance to her character, and also doesn’t just rely on looking slutty and screaming, but I suppose that is because she is one of the young female stars of Hollywood who can actually act, which is paradoxically why she doesn’t a ton of work. (Who needs an attractive female lead who can act? Pfft, just be a mannequin like Megan Fox.  Since I’m on the topic, fuck Megan Fox.  Bitch seriously looks and acts like an android.) As for leading men, we get Jensen Ackles from the popular Buffy rip-off show Supernatural, and Kerr Smith who is a noted TV drama (Yup, he was on Dawsons Creek for spell!) actor.  They do an OK job of fighting over the affections of Jamie Kings characters and driving the narrative forward, but ultimately there roles are not only secondary, but right on the verge of expendable.  There are better suited actors for these roles, but I guess the casting called for the females to get some good looking guys to look at too, so we are stuck with these dolts.  On the upside TOM MOTHERFUCKING ATKINS is in this movie, being as gruff, ancient, and downright legendary as he always is.  If you don’t know who Tom Atkins is, kill yourself.  Buy a gun, crash your car, drink crystal drano, whatever you gotta do to get the job done.  I kid, I kid.  But seriously, Tom Atkins is horror royalty, mostly thanks to his monumental performance in Night of the Creeps.

I HEART YOU TOM ATKINS!

Patrick Lussier, horror director…semi-extraordinaire, is at the helm for this one.  He is responsible for a long list of mostly “meh” horror movies such as Halloween H20, Cursed, Red Eye, The Eye, and White Noise 2: The Light. (which is MUCH better than White Noise 1, and highly recommended by me as a great little ghost story flick starring Nathan Fillion)  Lussier seems to capture both the best in him and the worst with MBV.  What I mean by that is, one moment he is staging and filming a great little stalk-and-kill sequence, while the next he hovers from a helicopter, shooting the same fucking bridge we have seen in the movie 6 times already.  We get it Lussier, we are in a small town with one bridge leading into it, we haven’t left, give us a damn break with the establishing shots already.  Lussier, I’m sure, was having fun with the possibilities laid before him with 3-D aspects, but still, some shots seem to linger on much longer than necessary, and some really feel like a complete waste of time.  The movie clocks in at 1 hour and 41 minutes, and surely Lussier could have shaved 11 minutes worth of bullshit of it if he wasn’t so concerned with 3-d shots that linger and and footage of ONE FRIGGIN’ BRIDGE.  Besides his love of arching, over water infrastructure, Lussier does show some flair when it comes to his kills, which are thankfully clearly shot, defined, and incredibly grisly.  Some of these kills are hall of fame quality, and they are deserve to be rewound at least once to see how truly brutal they are.  For a slasher movie, as long as the director films the kills good, everything else can be a distant second as far as I am concerned.  It just hurts when someone directs a SLASHER movie, but doesn’t know dick about filming a murder.  Lussier passes, but only with about a C+/B-.

Maybe not as iconic as a William Shatner Mask painted white, or a Hockey Mask, but if I saw this fucker coming my way, I would be running in the opposite direction.

From a technical standpoint, MBV is a great looking and sounding movie.  The cinematography is crystal clear, and the aforementioned establishing shots look really good, all 81 times we see them.  There are also some shots in the mine and surrounding wooded area that feel really alive.  The use of color here is sometimes surprisingly vivid.  The sound is also nice, nothing revolutionary, but nothing to complain about either, which is always a major plus.  Also, no bullshit teeny-bopper-dick-sucking soundtrack.  No Nickelback.  No Creed.  No Avenged Sevenfold.  Just a nice, relatively tense score that amps up at the appropriate times.  It is really refreshing when the first thing you here isn’t some horrible band that wrote a song “inspired by” the movie you are watching.  Besides the audio and visual departments, the lighting is also superb, as many of the nighttime shots aren’t hampered by the “I can’t see what is going on, but I probably should be able to” disease.  Lastly, the gore is very nice, striking a clean balance between practical effects accentuated by some noticeable, but unobtrusive cgi work that was probably required to get the 3-D affect to the blood and flying body parts.  I said it before and I will say it again, whoever had a hand in designing some of these kills and bringing them to life, deserves some credit, because the opening scenes alone are filled with some very disturbing and visceral kills.

Young Lady, put your GODDAMN seat belt on!

The 2009 remake of MBV supassed almost all of my expectations, which is saying a lot since I am a pretty die hard fan of the original.  Besides some inconsistencies and strange directing decisions, and a third act that doesn’t quite cash-in fully of the previous two, MBV 2009 is a rock solid slasher deeply rooted in the history of the artform.  It tries some new things, but just like a good student in an interesting class, it knows when to sit down, shut the fuck up, and play by the rules of the slasher movie bestowed upon them by giants of the sub-genre like Carpenter, Miner, Cunningham, and others.  In a year that will remembered for the Friday the 13th remake/re-imagining/sequel clusterfuck, don’t sleep on My Bloody Valentine 3-D.  It is likely the most fun and genuine throwback horror experience you are likely to have in ’09.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rcoc46onlE

—————-

Now playing: Queens Of The Stone Age – Turnin’ On The Screw

via FoxyTunes

Sadly, this is the best lead-in image I could find. Yeah, I know. I'm disappointed too.

First of all, let me state that the title of this film is actually The Guyver Dark Hero, not The Guyver 2 Dark Hero.  I decided to call it The Guyver 2: Dark Hero so that everyone will understand this is indeed a direct sequel to The Guyver, the 1991 film I recently reviewed.  In that review, I dissected my own memories of The Guyver a bit, and learned that not everything I enjoyed when I was younger holds up as well today.  As luck would have it though, during my light research for The Guyver review, I stumbled upon its straight-to-video R-Rated sequel, and still being in the mood to see stuntmen in elaborate rubber suits and armor beat the shit out of each other, I jumped on it.  This has turned out to be one of the best decisions of my weekend, and possibly my entire month!

To sum up the plot, I have to make a choice.  Do I assume you have seen the first Guyver movie, or do I just start from the beginning?  I’ll give you a brief summary of the initial live action installment, and then bleed it into the plot synopsis of the second entry.

*Spoiler Alert* (If you haven’t seen the first movie, this will ruin it for you.)

In the first Guyver, Sean Barker, a typical college aged white guy, stumbles upon the Guyver unit, which he then uses to save his girlfriend Mizky, who was the daughter of the doctor who stole the unit from the Chronos corporation, which is a company that is a front for shape shifting evil Zoanoids (Aliens).  Phew, that was a mouthful.  In the process he destroys the Chronos L.A. base, seemingly removing that threat.  It is now some time down the road, and he (Sean Barker/The Guyver) is the resident anti-hero of L.A having mastered control over the activation of his parasitic armament.  After the opening scene where e, in very graphic fashion, takes down a group of drug smugglers, his relationship with Mizky is ended, because she can’t stomach his murderous hero lifestyle.  All the while he is having visionary dreams, jotting down the images that come to him during his slumber in a notebook.  These images match those found at a archaelogical dig, a location also reported to be host to “werewolf attacks.”  Sean Barker, knowing that the Zoanoids and their shape shifting ways have been responsible for the myths of vampires and werewolves throughout recorded history, goes to investigate.  Ok, now that we are done with introduction…

ON TO THE REVIEW!!!!!! SALLY FORTH!

For the sake of organization (and my own minor fits with obsessive compulsive disorder) I will break this review down into three main parts, the same way I did with The Guyver review.  The first item up for examination will be the acting.  David Hayter, famous for voicing Solid Snake in some of the titles of that popular video game series as well as writing the screenplay for the recent Watchmen movie as well as X-men and X-men 2, takes over the reigns as Sean Barker/The Guyver.  He does an admirable job, much better than his predecessor Jack Armstrong, but still seems to be overdoing in spots, contorting his face into overly expressive shapes and not being subtle enough in his approach.  I wasn’t expecting miracles here, but someone could have slipped a whisper into his ear and told him to turn it down a notch so when his character is upset, it doesn’t look like he is pumping out a sharp, painful, triangular poop.  Besides Hayter, the only performance that is memorable is that of Kathy Christopherson, who plays the love interest to our lead, Cori.  She does her best to summon the ghost of Vivian Wu’s fucking hideous performance in the first film, but even she can’t sink as low as Wu did.  She has her moments where you can tell why she is an actress who would be hired, but she suffers from the say same “way too busy with facial expressions” syndrome that Hayter succumbs to.  Everyone else in the movie is just kind of there, and to my limited knowledge, they are no one of note.

Do you think I should get my nose done?

The directing in a major step up from the first movie beyond a shadow of a doubt.  That isn’t to say it is without its faults, but the good far outweighs the bad.  Steve Wang is credited as one half of the directing team of the original flick, but here he shows a much different, and much more appropriate visual style, especially during combat.  Where I feel the ball is dropped is during the middle stanza, where Wang brings the movie to a crawl as he attempts to examine the psychological and cultural implications of the existence of the Zoanoids, as well as the cultural and scientific weight of the…”relic” that is found during the dig.  I praise him for exposing more than just the tip of the iceberg of The Guyver mythos, but at the same time I loathe the fact that it makes the middle piece of what otherwise is a highly entertaining sci-fi action picture such a chore to sit through.  There were times where I wondered if I should turn it off, or fast foward a bit to save myself some time, but in the end I was very glad I stuck with it.  The reason for that is right around the 1 hour mark, right when the sluggish pace was really starting to test my patience, Wang put his stomps his foot down on the accelerator HARD.  The last 45 minutes is a blissful orgy of well lit monster martial arts mayhem.  The fighting is edited and shot masterfully, bringing the distinct oriental flavor that was criminally absent in the first film.  Another key element is that there is limited use of music during these fights, meaning that all the impact and the “boosting” and “whooshing” sounds The Guyver makes as his suit propels his up from the ground or through the air are that much more clear and emphasized.  Tag that along with the leeway that the R rating gives, and the violence transcends above what it looks like on screen, which is simply guys in suits doing flips and ninja stuff.  I will post a video to show you how effective this is below.  One last thing to mention would be the pleasurable nighttime cinmetography.  You can see everything that goes on clearly, and it never hinders the images quality.

The Guyver during one of my favorite fight scenes in the movie. He delivers a crazy arachnid kick (wrestling fans will get that) to the back of this Beast.

If you thought the effects were good in The Guyver (not only were they good, they were the driving force behind the whole damn thing) then you better hold onto your hat, because the sequel brings the rubber suits and thin, watery Japanese blood by the goddamn bucket full.  The amount of on screen monsters and varying make-up and suits has doubled, and the addition of gore has helped to bring even the most immediately laughable creations to a more serious level.  Sure, the guy who looks like a cross between a bumblebee and an ant looks funny at first, but wait until he gets his head cut off.  And pictured above, that beast is a cross between a hedgehog, porcupine, and a iconic werewolf.  Silly at first, but when you see the absolute devastation The Guyver lays down on it, which includes a double barrelled laser blast that implodes both the creatures eyeballs, you won’t be laughing.  Instead you’ll be saying “OH SHIT! That was effin’ AMAZING.”  I can’t give enough credit to whomever choreographed these fights, as well as the editor who picked and spliced just the right shots to make the combat and monster shenanigans less of a laughable affair, and more of a dead serious struggle for the preservation of Earth and the human race.  The bright red, shiny blood flows pretty liberally too, showing that Sean Barker and his opposition are much more intent on getting the job done this time around.  Killing is not just the last option, it is the only option.  The only word I can summon to describe the entire special effects package on display here is superb.  It is a major step forward, and my only regret is the days when audiences could marvel at the handiwork of artists with paint, latex, rubber, and plastic maybe be behind us.

You got a little something on your lip there Zoanoid. To your left. Yeah, you got it.

In closing, Dark Hero is a few light years ahead of The Guyver.  It suffers from an obviously low budget, which I’m sure was set low due to the less than favorable reception of the first film.  But despite having no name actors, a mountain of bad reputation to try and repel, and a rare R Rating for these types of genre fare, Dark Hero succeeds in being, if nothing else, a satisfying guilty pleasure.  The direction and acting are both adequate, and at times break free from the schlocky straight-to-video chains that bind them, but the martial arts, costume design, and unexpected grisly violence all elevate this just enough to be considered a hidden gem of the mid 90′s.  It isn’t a must watch, but it is surely something that made my entire weekend, and filled the empty void left inside me after the dissapointment that was my rewatching of The Guyver 1.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

P.S.  A 2005 “re-edit” with new music and and enhanced digital effects is available in 13 parts for free on youtube, for those who aren’t download or amazon savvy. Here is a link to Part 1.

Food allergies are killer.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnQnP5ibCLM