Slasher goodness!

Hell Night doesn’t look like much on the surface.  A slasher released in the heyday of slasher-mania, it also throws its hat into the ring of the “fraternity/sorority initiations gone wrong” sub-genre which saw many young, perky, and nubile young men and women pitted against murder happy psychos and sickos who are often to thought to exist only in the over active imaginations of impressionable 20-somethings who are looking to scare the heck out of pledges as a rite of passage into their order.  But instead of embracing the exploitative nature of the sub-genre, Hell Night instead offers up a competent entry into the realm of slashers done right, tapping into the Victorian atmosphere of the Garth manor where much of the tale is played out in.

Four pledges, broken down into two groups of two by personality (the two who are merely there because it seems like the thing to do in modern day society, and the other two who are horn dogs and looking to live it up during their college days) are locked overnight inside Garth manor, a castle like estate that is shrouded in blood-stained legend and booby trapped by the fraternity president, his floozy blond girlfriend, and his right hand man and all around tech-guy.  After some of their pranks go off without a hitch, the guests within the manor, and their pranksters roaming outside the estate begin encountering forces and inhabitants who aren’t all that pleased that their final, or not so final, resting place has been chosen as the venue for their little annual initiation game.

Our four willing contestants. 6 if you count Linda Blair's ample bosom.

What immediately sets Hell Night apart amongst the flock of near identical slasher fair being forged and promoted at the time is the fact that our four main characters have more than one layer to their personalities, and are capable of some impressive feats of reasoning and detection.  They are also all capable of showing multiple sides of themselves, and even if those sides are a little thin, it’s a pleasure to see that enough care was given to make our potential victims worthy of at least a smidgen of our attention and sympathy, which makes the cat and mouse elements and near constant threats to their lives in the second and thirds acts just that much more engaging.  Linda Blair, famous for The Exorcist and, as of 1981, not quite yet being the ultimate B-movie Queen we know and love her for today, stars and leads, and does a really admirable job in making a claim for fame with her acting ability.  It doesn’t hurt that she has a very young and innocent look at this point in her acting career, along with a body many lusted after.  In one of her best moments in the film, she is having a conversation with her romantic interest, and intellectual equal within the manor, Jeff about the reason why they have decided to go to college and sign up for their respective fraternities and sororities.  They talk about how Jeff is from a richer family, and how Jeff’s main reasoning for getting involved in Alpha Sigma Row was because of his fathers wishes.  Marty (Linda Blair) then explains that her motivation was that if she helped her less intelligent and educationally motivated sisters pass certain courses, she would get a car to use, a new wardrobe, and some other perks.  They even explore a bit of the difference between the rich, white collar background that Jeff comes from compared to the blue collar world Marty knew growing up as a child, which has bestowed upon her all the knowledge of being a proper mechanic (I wonder how having the skills of a mechanic could assist Marty later on down the line in a slasher film.  Hmmmmm.)  The other two pledges, Denise and Seth, are the more typically shallow college students, interested more in cocaine, Quaaludes, and liquor, but even they have a discussion about their passions in life outside of drinking, drugs, and pre-marital, death-warrant-signing sex that hints at something underneath their frivolities.  Peter Bennet, president of Alpha Sigma Row, and his girlfriend May and crony Scott, are also solid characters, showing confidence from an acting standpoint and the proper amount of borderline psychopathic menace required to pull off such a mean-spirited set of pranks.

Got to love old school, see through, shambling ghosts.

The look and feel of Hell Night is also cause for some minor jubilation, as a majority of the film takes place inside an inexplicably well furnished (12 years since anyone’s been in there, but they still have beds complete with blankets, functioning toilets, and lit candles in every room) manor that’s quite huge and contains a mysterious and and cavernous geography.  The house is multiple levels high (3 or more) and has some maze like caves underneath as well as  a pond/moat deal and is surrounded by foliage and woods on either side, all encased by an extremely high and pointy fence with a gate entrance in front.  The director, Tom DeSimone, makes the appropriate amount of love to the exterior and interior of the building, and while I can’t be sure how much was a set and how much was an actual location, it all works seamlessly and rarely takes you out of illusion that you are on such a lore-laden property that seems stuck in a Victorian past.  One would figure that with such a cast and set up, we would be privy to gratuitous nudity and unrealistic sex scenes, but DeSimone spares us that, instead shooting for subtle, mostly off screen romance while interrupting any on screen loving with well-timed jolts and revelations.  Speaking of well-timed jolts, DeSimone and his audio team may have the best “DONG!” sounds to emphasize the incredibly jump-worthy and off-beat boo scares.  DeSimone doesn’t wait until the audience has had time to catch their breath before telegraphing his next jump scene, and instead uses the predictability of other, lesser slashers to his advantage by throwing in scares on the beats a few steps before or after when you expect the boo scare to pop up.  This flick made me jump 4 separate times, and none of the thrills seem cheap either.  They all came at times where I was generally interested in what was happening anyway, instead of times where the movie had nothing going on and a a boo scare would have been the only way to justify a particularly unnecessary scene.  Since the entire film takes place during the night, I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that no part of the movie is too dark to see clearly, and that the atmosphere is handled very well, driving home the blustery, autumnal night this film is taking place on without being too obvious about it.  The pacing may be my only true beef with DeSimone, as the film seems to drag a bit when the second act is coming to a close and the third and final act is getting underway.  Had this flick been shaved down 10-20 minutes, I think it would’ve moved at a much more brisk and relentless pace.  As it plays now, it seems to wander and shamble a bit too much at points, albeit for good, story-based reasons.  But still a little more of a scissor happy approach in the editing room would have had me at the edge of my seat continually.

The Killer seems to have a thing for severing heads, and I'm totally down with that.

As I mentioned a bit earlier, the look and the feel of the film is spot on, creating all the spookiness you would hope to hear and see from a proper slasher film, along with some really nice, flashy death and special effects sequences.  Some of the slayings take place off screen, but more often than not we are treated to quick, but brutal on screen killings that make up for their lack in creativity with the impact of great sound effect accompaniments and overall swiftness.  The killer is pretty effective when dealing out the death, and the fact that he has this famaliar playground to do it in, that is well lit, shot, and scored, makes it all the more fun for us fans of the sub-genre.  Aside from the “DONG!” notes that push the boo scares on us so well, the score is also just as impressive, while sadly not being terribly memorable.  There is no recognizable theme, but instead it all feels moody and dark enough to fit the action taking place.  Better yet though, the score doesn’t try to blatantly rip-off any more well-known slasher themes, so at the very least it is unique and well-suited for this particular movie.  The gore is a bit on the light side, but in a flick so rich with atmosphere and some very tense moments, it is ok for it not to be drenched in red.  For those wondering if there are any super memorable kills in Hell Night though, I can tell you with absolute certainty that the “final kill” which ends the film is a howler, and I actually rewound it a few time because the setup to it and the pay off seem accidental and unrelated, which makes the kill itself even more impressive.

Are carpets supposed to stand up on their own like that?

Much Like Madman, Hell Night is a slasher fans slasher, at least in my book.  It has that off-beat, groovy vibe going for it which keeps a viewer on his or her toes throughout most of the film, and it looks, feels, and sounds every bit as spooky and creepy as it should.  It doesn’t reinvent the slasher, but for every step it doesn’t take forward into the land of groundbreaking progression, it takes one step to the left, being just different enough to hold your attention and warrant a special place above the cesspool of more shallow, cash hungry knock-offs of the tried and true formula.  The acting is more than a few notches above what should be realistically expected, it sounds amazing, and if it weren’t for some questionable pacing at key points, this could be one of those examples of how a relatively unknown successor to the heavyweights of the genre had actually trumped the champions.  If you are looking for one “hell” of a October night slasher double-bill, I would couple Hell Night with Madman.  Just another reason never to go to college, and never to join a fraternity or sorority.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Thank you wardrobe.

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Now playing: Bohren & der Club of Gore – Ringfinger
via FoxyTunes

Awful box art. I never dug the split face thing, and this makes it seem as if Hamill is the Guyver, which he is not.

The Guyver was one of my first introductions to B grade sci-fi when I was a little tyke.  Back in the days of HBO and its kind, weird and out of the way movies were often played either late at night or early in the morning, and it was there where I first laid eyes upon this manga derived creature feature.

For those unfamiliar with the basics of The Guyver universe, the story is primarily centered around a bio-mechanical suit of armor, The Guyver, that has the ability to fuse with and be stored inside it’s heroic host when not in use.  The cyborg like suit gives its user all the standard bonuses we sci-fi fans are used to, including increased speed, strength, and jumping ability as well as some nifty blades that protrude from the elbow of the suit and are retractable.  The suits origin is alien, as is the entire human race.  We were put here by aliens in order to create the ultimate organic weapon, Mankind.  There are also some Zoanoids, which are the bad aliens who are after The Guyver unit in order to use its power to do evil stuff.  That is about as deep as I’m willing to go as there really isn’t much more to the plot than that.

Probably the most credible actor in this flick.

The acting in the Guyver is on the level of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon episode.  Michael Berryman, of the original The Hills Have Eyes fame, does his best to bring all his natural spookiness to his character, and right behind him is David Gale, whose claim to fame within the horror genre would be his mostly bodiless work in Re-Animator.  Speaking of the Re-Animator connection, Jeffrey Combs also gets a bit part towards the finale of The Guyver, playing Dr. East, undoubtedly a inside joke and reference to his breakthrough role as Dr. Herbert West.  Brian Yuzna is producer here, as he was on Re-Animator, so it’s no surprise he got his old pals to come along for the ride.  Mark Hamill is also in this, although his role is much smaller than the box art indicates.  He is the cop/investigator guy who gets wrapped up in this whole space armor deal, and seems confused as to what kind of film he is actually in.  At certain points he seem relatively playful in his approach, suiting the mood of the movie, and at other times he is visibilty trying too hard to act the shit out of his role.  His uneven performance can’t match the pure suffering and terror that is Vivian Wu however.  She is so annoying and useless that I had to fast forward through some of the scenes where she got more than 2 full sentences to say in succession.  Jack Armstrong as The Guyver/Sean Barker is tolerable, but ultimately insignificant considering the second half of the movie it’s just his voice we hear while a stuntman kicks ass in the armor.  Linnea Quigley also shows up for about 2 seconds, she screams and looks good in tight clothing, which is actually a great way to sum up her career as a Scream Queen.

Linnea Quigley also has a cameo, and true to her moniker of Scream Queen, she pretty much only screams and looks good.

So the acting really doesn’t do the film any favors, as it is more fun to see who pops up in this film, than it is to actually watch any of them act.  Sadly, the directing doesn’t quite make up for it.  Screaming Mad George is behind the lens for this one, someone who is best known for being the mastermind behind some of the effects for the sci-fi mega hit Predator.  But while every monster and special effect I have seen from him I have absolutely loved (he is big into robotics, stop-motion animation, practical and prosthetic effects, and even some clay work) his directing leaves much to be desired.  George doesn’t try to do anything special or fancy, with the exception being the comic book like screen slices where the next scene cuts the previous seen in half diagonally like a sword for a transition.  Instead, his direction feels very pedestrian, going beyond simply observing what is going on, to the point where the camera just feels kind of boring.  Usually, I favor this approach to the shaky cam of today, or the overuse of filters and screen effects that can all to often destroy a scene, but The Guyver, and its history of stylized, edgey mangas, seemed to beg for a more interesting visual take.  Maybe the budget had something to do with it, or maybe Yuzna got his hands in there  too much, but for wahetver reason, The Guyver falls flat a few times too many to be constantly and thoroughly exciting.  And just for arguments sake, if this ever gets remade or rebooted, I place my vote for either Takeshi Miike or Ryûhei Kitamura to get the job as director.

"Why yes, I am the completely creepy big bad guy. What gave me away? Was it my pedophile smile?"

By now, you may be wondering why you should waste any of your precious time watching this flick.  And I gotta say, if it were not for the special effects, this may have been a complete wash.  Screaming Mad George makes up for his directing sins by putting together some of the best rubber suits and robotics I have seen.  The Guyver armor itself is emaculate, full of moving parts while still being form fitting to whomever was in it at the time.  It has that “you can almost feel it and you could reach out and touch it” quality to it that modern movies just can’t muster as long as they hobble along with the crutch that is computer graphics.  Besides the amazing job on our hero, the bad guys get it just as good, with each Zoanoid getting a personalized and very distinct look in their monster form.  There are even furry monster boobs.  Ever creature design also feels original, and personal to each character, meaning their monster form matches, to an extent, what they look like in human form, along with their personality.  The afforementioned directing gets it right on this one aspect, showing the monsters in full view and allowing them to be very active when fighting, showing the suits are not just for show but actually made to be flexible enough to fight in and move around in fluidly.  The creature design is so good, it validates the whole picture.

I couldn't talk about how good the costumes are and not show you one!

The Guyver is certainly a case of personal nostalgia shining down its radiant glow on a movie memory of mine and making it seem brighter.  The Guyver isn’t a worthless film, it just isn’t a terrifically good one.  There is an incredible amount of depth to be explored in its universe, and this film barely scratches the surface of  the psycholigcal and biological relationships that a regular human would have with such unprecedented alien equipment.  Not to mention, the untapped potential of the human race finding out it was created by aliens in an attempt to create the ultimate organic warmachine.  I don’t expect some deep thinking mans sci-fi tale, but The Guyver I remembered from when I was young was better than this.  For cheesy sci-fi completists and Yuzna and company fans, this is a must just to see the special effects and cult actors as work.  Outside of those camps, it is a tough sell.

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

He needs a catchphrase.