Slasher goodness!

Hell Night doesn’t look like much on the surface.  A slasher released in the heyday of slasher-mania, it also throws its hat into the ring of the “fraternity/sorority initiations gone wrong” sub-genre which saw many young, perky, and nubile young men and women pitted against murder happy psychos and sickos who are often to thought to exist only in the over active imaginations of impressionable 20-somethings who are looking to scare the heck out of pledges as a rite of passage into their order.  But instead of embracing the exploitative nature of the sub-genre, Hell Night instead offers up a competent entry into the realm of slashers done right, tapping into the Victorian atmosphere of the Garth manor where much of the tale is played out in.

Four pledges, broken down into two groups of two by personality (the two who are merely there because it seems like the thing to do in modern day society, and the other two who are horn dogs and looking to live it up during their college days) are locked overnight inside Garth manor, a castle like estate that is shrouded in blood-stained legend and booby trapped by the fraternity president, his floozy blond girlfriend, and his right hand man and all around tech-guy.  After some of their pranks go off without a hitch, the guests within the manor, and their pranksters roaming outside the estate begin encountering forces and inhabitants who aren’t all that pleased that their final, or not so final, resting place has been chosen as the venue for their little annual initiation game.

Our four willing contestants. 6 if you count Linda Blair's ample bosom.

What immediately sets Hell Night apart amongst the flock of near identical slasher fair being forged and promoted at the time is the fact that our four main characters have more than one layer to their personalities, and are capable of some impressive feats of reasoning and detection.  They are also all capable of showing multiple sides of themselves, and even if those sides are a little thin, it’s a pleasure to see that enough care was given to make our potential victims worthy of at least a smidgen of our attention and sympathy, which makes the cat and mouse elements and near constant threats to their lives in the second and thirds acts just that much more engaging.  Linda Blair, famous for The Exorcist and, as of 1981, not quite yet being the ultimate B-movie Queen we know and love her for today, stars and leads, and does a really admirable job in making a claim for fame with her acting ability.  It doesn’t hurt that she has a very young and innocent look at this point in her acting career, along with a body many lusted after.  In one of her best moments in the film, she is having a conversation with her romantic interest, and intellectual equal within the manor, Jeff about the reason why they have decided to go to college and sign up for their respective fraternities and sororities.  They talk about how Jeff is from a richer family, and how Jeff’s main reasoning for getting involved in Alpha Sigma Row was because of his fathers wishes.  Marty (Linda Blair) then explains that her motivation was that if she helped her less intelligent and educationally motivated sisters pass certain courses, she would get a car to use, a new wardrobe, and some other perks.  They even explore a bit of the difference between the rich, white collar background that Jeff comes from compared to the blue collar world Marty knew growing up as a child, which has bestowed upon her all the knowledge of being a proper mechanic (I wonder how having the skills of a mechanic could assist Marty later on down the line in a slasher film.  Hmmmmm.)  The other two pledges, Denise and Seth, are the more typically shallow college students, interested more in cocaine, Quaaludes, and liquor, but even they have a discussion about their passions in life outside of drinking, drugs, and pre-marital, death-warrant-signing sex that hints at something underneath their frivolities.  Peter Bennet, president of Alpha Sigma Row, and his girlfriend May and crony Scott, are also solid characters, showing confidence from an acting standpoint and the proper amount of borderline psychopathic menace required to pull off such a mean-spirited set of pranks.

Got to love old school, see through, shambling ghosts.

The look and feel of Hell Night is also cause for some minor jubilation, as a majority of the film takes place inside an inexplicably well furnished (12 years since anyone’s been in there, but they still have beds complete with blankets, functioning toilets, and lit candles in every room) manor that’s quite huge and contains a mysterious and and cavernous geography.  The house is multiple levels high (3 or more) and has some maze like caves underneath as well as  a pond/moat deal and is surrounded by foliage and woods on either side, all encased by an extremely high and pointy fence with a gate entrance in front.  The director, Tom DeSimone, makes the appropriate amount of love to the exterior and interior of the building, and while I can’t be sure how much was a set and how much was an actual location, it all works seamlessly and rarely takes you out of illusion that you are on such a lore-laden property that seems stuck in a Victorian past.  One would figure that with such a cast and set up, we would be privy to gratuitous nudity and unrealistic sex scenes, but DeSimone spares us that, instead shooting for subtle, mostly off screen romance while interrupting any on screen loving with well-timed jolts and revelations.  Speaking of well-timed jolts, DeSimone and his audio team may have the best “DONG!” sounds to emphasize the incredibly jump-worthy and off-beat boo scares.  DeSimone doesn’t wait until the audience has had time to catch their breath before telegraphing his next jump scene, and instead uses the predictability of other, lesser slashers to his advantage by throwing in scares on the beats a few steps before or after when you expect the boo scare to pop up.  This flick made me jump 4 separate times, and none of the thrills seem cheap either.  They all came at times where I was generally interested in what was happening anyway, instead of times where the movie had nothing going on and a a boo scare would have been the only way to justify a particularly unnecessary scene.  Since the entire film takes place during the night, I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that no part of the movie is too dark to see clearly, and that the atmosphere is handled very well, driving home the blustery, autumnal night this film is taking place on without being too obvious about it.  The pacing may be my only true beef with DeSimone, as the film seems to drag a bit when the second act is coming to a close and the third and final act is getting underway.  Had this flick been shaved down 10-20 minutes, I think it would’ve moved at a much more brisk and relentless pace.  As it plays now, it seems to wander and shamble a bit too much at points, albeit for good, story-based reasons.  But still a little more of a scissor happy approach in the editing room would have had me at the edge of my seat continually.

The Killer seems to have a thing for severing heads, and I'm totally down with that.

As I mentioned a bit earlier, the look and the feel of the film is spot on, creating all the spookiness you would hope to hear and see from a proper slasher film, along with some really nice, flashy death and special effects sequences.  Some of the slayings take place off screen, but more often than not we are treated to quick, but brutal on screen killings that make up for their lack in creativity with the impact of great sound effect accompaniments and overall swiftness.  The killer is pretty effective when dealing out the death, and the fact that he has this famaliar playground to do it in, that is well lit, shot, and scored, makes it all the more fun for us fans of the sub-genre.  Aside from the “DONG!” notes that push the boo scares on us so well, the score is also just as impressive, while sadly not being terribly memorable.  There is no recognizable theme, but instead it all feels moody and dark enough to fit the action taking place.  Better yet though, the score doesn’t try to blatantly rip-off any more well-known slasher themes, so at the very least it is unique and well-suited for this particular movie.  The gore is a bit on the light side, but in a flick so rich with atmosphere and some very tense moments, it is ok for it not to be drenched in red.  For those wondering if there are any super memorable kills in Hell Night though, I can tell you with absolute certainty that the “final kill” which ends the film is a howler, and I actually rewound it a few time because the setup to it and the pay off seem accidental and unrelated, which makes the kill itself even more impressive.

Are carpets supposed to stand up on their own like that?

Much Like Madman, Hell Night is a slasher fans slasher, at least in my book.  It has that off-beat, groovy vibe going for it which keeps a viewer on his or her toes throughout most of the film, and it looks, feels, and sounds every bit as spooky and creepy as it should.  It doesn’t reinvent the slasher, but for every step it doesn’t take forward into the land of groundbreaking progression, it takes one step to the left, being just different enough to hold your attention and warrant a special place above the cesspool of more shallow, cash hungry knock-offs of the tried and true formula.  The acting is more than a few notches above what should be realistically expected, it sounds amazing, and if it weren’t for some questionable pacing at key points, this could be one of those examples of how a relatively unknown successor to the heavyweights of the genre had actually trumped the champions.  If you are looking for one “hell” of a October night slasher double-bill, I would couple Hell Night with Madman.  Just another reason never to go to college, and never to join a fraternity or sorority.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Thank you wardrobe.

—————-
Now playing: Bohren & der Club of Gore – Ringfinger
via FoxyTunes

Remember when poster were fantastical hand-drawn pieces of art? I wish they would start doing that again.

Master of the Universe (MOTU for short) is a movie I remember fondly from my childhood.  It was the kind of film you would see played on TBS and WB channels on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, usually buried in a marathon of similarly-themed sci-fi epics.  So you can imagine the delight I found as a pre-teen when movies like Fortress and Highlander would bookend a testosterone-laden thrill ride such as MOTU.  Much to my chagrin though, it has been well over 15 years since I last laid eyes on this toy-line inspired beauty, and I am happy to report it holds up incredibly well, despite showing signs of its now eclipsed special effects and cliched plot devices.

MOTU tells the story of an eternal battle between He-Man, the sort of Savior of the Eterians (good guys) and Skeletor, a tyrannical skull-faced villain who has amassed a gigantic force of black-clad soldiers with laser guns in an attempt to fuse his own existence with the all mighty the power of the universe to become a God to which all will bow and be subservient.  There are some other minor details, such as a sacred sword (who would have seen that coming) and a Cosmic Key that can tap into to musical nature of the entire universe to teleport anyone to any time and/or place, but they are all secondary to the over arching theme of Good vs. Evil that gives MOTU all the setup it needs to get on with the futuristic-fantasy style combat and whimsical, feel good storytelling.

Frank Langella doesn't just play Skeletor, the guy BECOMES Skeletor. Impressive since most of his acting was done solely through his shifty and piercing eyes.

One of the major challenges any comic/cartoon/toy-line turned movie faces is finding talent capable of bringing the larger than life characters that have been summoned from imagination to screen in an even remotely credible way.  Some may argue with what I am about to say, but Dolph Lundgren and company to a terrific job manifesting the starry-eyed childhood wonder that He-man and his cohorts exude to the medium of film.  Frank Langella as Skeletor may be one of the most perfect, glove-tight fights in cinematic history.  Dolph Lundgren IS He-man, right down to his Godly physique and “get it done” no bullshit attitude, as well as being a man of few wasted words.  Courtney Cox plays the perfect “Earth teenager accidentally sucked into interstellar warfare” and Meg Foster brings a deliciously sexy and sinister style to Skeletors mistress of doom, Evil-Lyn.  Bill Barty as the vertically challenged and infinitely adorable Gwildor does a good enough job to land him a role in any Jim Henson film, and James Tolkan plays the frustrating, non-believer cop role to perfection.  The best part is, you can just tell how everyone on set knew exactly what they were making, and instead of trying to prove what a great actor they are in the hopes of landing future roles in “better” movies, they revel in the ludicrous nature of the whole thing, and emit an aura of carefree fun with a touch of either pure righteousness for the good guys, or over the top menace and for the baddies.

Evil-Lyn rocking some awesome contacts and a fancy hat, giving her best "I am evil as all get out" face.

Gary Goddard, directing his only film of any relevance, echoes the playful vibe that MOTU is known for by keeping his camera relatively calm, but flooding sets and locations with a myriad of different bright, shiny, and often neon colors.  He does at times use come cool focusing tricks and “action in the background” techniques like when Skeletors wicked floating throne creeps up on our unsuspecting heroes on a building top, but for the most part he keeps it within the comfortable standards, which is by no means saying he does the viewer a disservice.  The colors and filters work to make the live action seem all the more fantastic and comic-bookish, with heavy hues of red breaking through strands of smoke and fog often when our villains are on screen.  Our heroes get far less of this Pink Floyd concert laser show treatment then the opposition, but they too are treated like gold by Goddards camera, being seen in many heroic poses, and never being filmed to look weak, or even beatable for that matter.  Goddard knew exactly how to make people playing action figures look every bit as fun and gigantic as we all imagined in our young minds when we were playing with the toys and watching the cartoons.

I would not fuck with this guy. Hes got a cape and a speedo on. That's serious.

While laser beams and zoom-ins on paintings are now dinosaurs of the art of film, for me they hold more than just nostalgia.  I liked the way yesteryears’ special effects looked.  Paintings made to replace expensive and impossible sets, sparks flying out of bodies instead of blood, costumes that were complex, bulky, and not aided by computer graphics touch ups, and Ghostbusters style lightning of all different colors, shapes ans sizes warm my heart to no end.  If some one made this film today (and I have no doubt someone in Hollywood is eyeing this for a remake) it would look more like a video game than a movie.  But thankfully, the memory we have before us is one which took full advantage of the available technology as well as traditional customs, presenting gorgeous and elaborate set design (the interior of Castle Greyskull is fucking BEAUTIFULLY done) and pyrotechnics galore.  It sits firmly in between cheese and art, never for an instant trying to pretend, visually or sonically, to be something it’s not.  The music and sound effects are full of tributes to Star Wars and the hordes of other popular space epics, while sprinkling in some Conan the Barbarian for good measure.  It’s all well beyond adequate, and detracts nothing from the overall experience.  If anything, it just adds to the charm and warmth.

What can you say, they just don't make 'em like they used to.

MOTU is one of the finest examples of a movie often referred to as a punchline in a joke, actually being sinfully entertaining and solid after 20 plus years.  Its indulgent, flashy, loud, and has limited mainstream appeal, but it’s also wholesome, pure, easy to understand, and never, ever boring.  It doesn’t bog you down with hours of back story, political allegory, or social commentary.  It’s just a fun, tightly wrapped interpretation of a, at one point, incredibly popular comic, cartoon, and toy line, instead of being a movie which only exists in an attempt to popularise and announce a forthcoming comic, cartoon, and line of pose able figurines.  The acting is well-suited to fit the mood, technical aspects are tailor made to increase that mood, and the story and pace are as on point as one could expect from a 1 hour and 45 minute flick destined to be one of the ultimate popcorn experiences of all-time.  So crack open a beer, pack your bowl, or whatever it is you flunkies do, and revisit a classic that deserves a much better legacy than the one history has bestowed upon it.  After all, YOU HAVE THE POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

I HAVE THE POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF20B8p4F08

AND JUST FOR LAUGHS!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeFH-QoAPCk

He is all out of bubblegum.

2008 was, without a doubt, the year of the comic book movie.  Along side the earth shattering success of The Dark Knight, there was the surprisingly impressive Hulk movie, and the Robert Downey Jr. resurrection machine known as Iron Man.  Both turned out to be great movies in their own right, with the Hulk finally getting the balance between the rage fueled violence and the plight of the scientist with a curse right, and with Iron Man, where Downey Jr. literally transformed himself into a living, breathing Tony Stark.

So then why didn’t anyone pay any attention to Punisher War Zone?  Maybe it was because the 2004 entry was almost universally panned for being quite atrocious.  Maybe because it didn’t have anywhere near the hype and media coverage that the big three got.  Maybe because it’s R rated (and let me tell you, its earns ALL of that R rating and then some).  Maybe it’s because the plot concerning an ex-military mans family being slaughtered because they witnessed a mob killing is just to grim for most audiences.  Whatever the reason, it’s truly a damn shame, because against what seemed like all odds, the old adage of “third times a charm” came shining through, and Frank Castle finally get his long overdue opus on the silver screen.

The Punisher to me, always seemed like the safest and easiest bet of all the Marvel heroes to turn into a feature film.  There’s no expensive CGI and complicated suits to create.  There’s no interplanetary or ridiculously complex scientific origin to the hero.  His appearance is just that of a middle-aged tired and emotionally distraught Italian male.  And he actually doesn’t even has superpowers, his is just an incredibly driven, superlatively trained warrior who occupies the gray area in between the good and evil of society.  Aside from some more intimate and provoking undertones that go on within The Punishers own conscious, his main method of entertaining comic books fans was plowing his way as violently as possible through droves of street thugs, gangsters, and criminals.  It’s at about this time your probably recognizing how male orientated this comic series was.  It seems like every male action junkies fantasy, to be this near suicidal, empty shell of a man who can just kill with absolute impunity.  Yet, in a strange twist, it took a woman to get this story right.

The Punisher can kill a man with a chair. That's hardcore.

Director Lexi Alexanders’ command of the visual style and pacing of this movie is probably the most immediate and impressive of the taunting hurdles she had to overcome to create such an exceptionally accurate representation of The Punisher as it is presented in the comics.  The Punisher is a man of action, a man of finality, in his world there are three colors, Black (evil), White (good), and Red (Blood and Justice).  Lexi encapsulates that beautifully, knowing exactly when to allow the story play out a bit, and maybe let the characters get a little introspective, and when to crank it up to 11 by unleashing the Punisher without any hesitation or restriction.  Combining those strengths, with a keen eye for lighting, to give everything  that grimy, almost mafia look, and some dynamite performances and well thought out actions set pieces and you have a recipe for success.

But while Lexi may have created quite the landscape for a vigilante superhero with an uncanny talent for dealing death, it would be nothing if there weren’t solid actors to bring the persona’s off the pages of the comics.  Everyone, let me introduce to Ray Stevenson.  This guy is a presence on screen, I liken him to Gerald Butler, who completely stole the show in every scene he was in in 300.  His somber and weathered face and flat voice was a perfect fit for bringing to life the near emotionless Frank Castle.  He wasn’t just a revelation because he accurately portrayed a comic book character, he was a revelation because he acted his fucking ass off, and bridged the gap between inflated, comically quirky superheroes, and three-dimensional characters who seem to live and breath in an incredibly believable manner.

Jigsaw.

Surrounding him is a ensemble cast that includes Julie Benz (RAMBO, Dexter TV show), Dominic West (The Wire TV show), and Wayne Knight (Seinfeld and Jurassic Park).  They all fit the bill perfectly, and bring the kind of subtle, validating emotions to the screen, while still being incredibly fun to marvel (pun intended) at due to their fan service nature and faithful reproduction on screen.

Technically speaking, the audio is superb, with the score being allowed to creep into the forefront at just the right moments to give more emotional resonance and weight to a particular scene.  Also, every gunshot, shell casing, bullet wound, lost limb, and blown up body is accounted for, with satisfyingly loud, deep, and visceral sound effects.  As previously mentioned, the lighting is a perfect blend of realistic city environments, and heavily stylized colorful comic book cities.  The camera also always seems to be in the right place, never wearing out its welcome by using too many gimmicks or by sitting around like a seemingly uninterested bystander.  It moves with the pace of the action, and always gives a great glimpse of what is happening.

Heavy Handed for those uninitiated in Punisher lore, but this is as fitting a message to go out on as any.

The Punisher, is my humble opinion, is better than the Hulk movie, and right up there with Iron Man as far as 2008 comic book movies are concerned, with the The Dark Knight being the obvious number 1.   This is an incredibly faithful, stunningly grisly, and frighteningly accurate depiction of everything that is great about the character Marvel fans seem to forget about the most in The Punisher.  The acting is simply spot on, only once or twice spilling into hammy territory.  The look and feel is wonderful without being overbearing.  It sounds like a dream John Woo had, and it moves quickly, avoiding all those slippery little chasms where character exposition and plot development can lead to mind-numbing boredom and frustration.

The birth of the alternative comic book movie is upon us, and I for one am eagerly awaiting whats next.

Get out of my way, punk