Gotta love that tagline.

Dellamorte Dellamore (translated to Of Death Of Love, which can then be easily jumbled around to Love of the Dead) is a title better known to most American audiences as Cemetery Man.  Regardless of which title you prefer to adopt for it however, it is a film that is widely considered by horror aficionados as the last great Italian horror film, and in particular the last standout zombie picture in the long lineage of the countries contributions to the sub genre.  While Fulci and his peers were busy pushing the limits of on screen violence and nurturing the inherit apocalyptic nature of the dead coming back to life, writer/journalist/novelist Tiziano Sclavi was hard at work on what we might call a comic book series called Dylan Dog about an investigator who looked into nightmares.  As with anything that is held in even remotely high regard in print, it was loosely adapted for the silver screen.  While that history is certainly interesting, and may even give insight into the wildly surreal and dream like qualities of Cemetery Man, it isn’t vital to enjoying and thinking critically about the movie itself.  What is of utmost importance is the ability to just go with the quite jarring and constantly morphing flow of the picture, allowing yourself and your imagination to free associate the many clues and symbols embedded within the flick, and let your mind fill in the gaps that arise from its sordid and often misconstrued storytelling methods.

Our story is, at its base, one of a cemetery keeper who has not only the nasty chore of burying the recently deceased, but keeping them under the pounds of dirt he shovels on top of them.  See, Francesco Dellamorte (an ironic name that even the character pokes fun at in the very beginning of the film) battles zombies almost nightly, and with his trusty revolver and spade, and the assistance of his near mute helper Gnagi, he keeps the tenants of Buffalora cemetery within the gates by either shooting them in the head, or driving objects through their rotting skulls.  For a horror movie, this is more than enough to justify a standard 90 minute run time, but what makes Cemetery Man  so interesting and open to interpretation is that it is a film with films inside it.  There are love stories for both of our flawed and damaged reluctant heroes (Gnagi and Frances), there is a ingeniously deceptive detective story complete with twist, and then there is the ultimate question that plagues any intellectual viewer of this movie.  Where on Earth, or outside of Earth, is this all taking place?  Before I throw down my loose theories about the messages and mysteries contained within, let me first analyze it as a piece of  horror entertainment.

This is exactly how I open my door.

Cemetery Man leans heavily on the acting of its male lead Rupert Everett, which is a good thing considering he does a magnificent job conveying the many facets of Frances without the movie or the character ever coughing up any major information as to his personal history.  Besides mentioning that he doesn’t read much and never finished high school, we are instead treated to my personal favorite of all methods for establishing a characters motives, values, and even their beliefs.  The method is simply his actions.  His movements, the way he expresses his emotions and treats those close to him, and almost every other behavior all compiles together into giving us a better understanding of Frances, and if you take the plunge and see this movie (or watch it again, which I also highly recommend) you will learn that understanding Frances may be the key to understanding the film as a whole.  Outside of our enigmatic lead, Anna Falchi also graces the screen with her unique beauty, and brings some acting and modeling credentials to the multiple characters she plays, all of whom are cryptically named as “She” only.  She may not be the best actress, and at times it seems like either she is being subtly dubbed or having a hard time speaking perfect English (she is Italian after all), but for what her characters demand, it seemed fitting that someone who is beautiful, but not in a conventional sense, would play those parts.  In particular, I noticed that her eyes and eye make up changed for each of her 3 “shes” she plays, which may denote a change in the film itself, perhaps opening another chapter every time she reappears.  Gnagi, played by François Hadji-Lazaro, also lends a great deal of depth to the set of personalities on screen, and without hardly muttering any words, and not a full sentence until the very end of the picture, manages to serve as the loyal, but sometimes useless, compatriot to Frances.  He is there with him through thick and thin, and seems to serve as a reminder to Frances that even as along as he feels, he never truly is completely alone.  The rest of the supporting cast are all good, but they get nearly as much time and dialogue as these 3 do, which means that I don’t feel the need to elaborate on their fine performances.  But trust me, they are all well beyond adequate, and in the odd case there is someone you don’t particularly like, don’t worry, they will be dead soon enough.

Frances and "She" spending some quality time in the ossuary.

Michele Soavi (who directed another one of my favorite horror flicks of all time, Stagefright), with competent acting in hand, wastes no time in unraveling his surreal and morbid vision.  The pacing of the film is incredible, surrendering the typical pseudo-tension found in most horror flicks for an off-beat but blistering tempo that is always striking you with violence, sex, dark twisted comedy, or a combination of those 3.  Soavi comes off as a fan and student of the Italian Spaghetti horror films that dominated the underground and foreign markets for much of the 80′s, while at the same time balancing the tragic and dreamy mind fuck that is the narrative.  As I mentioned earlier, it seems like there is at least two movies being told at once, with the major determining factor between the two being the night and day cycle, as well as the lighting and the soundtrack changes.  Night time looks amazingly detailed, never suffering from “I can’t see SHIT” disease that I hate with a every fiber of my being.  Soavi also employs some clever POV shots, usually from the perspective of the dead or soon to be dead person in the scene.  It is used just enough to cement it as a legitimate tool in Soavis directing arsenal, but is done with enough restraint to not come off as a simple gimmick.  If you are a fan of European architecture with a Gothic flair to it, the scenes within the cemetery and surrounding area are sure to please you.  The film really shines during the night scenes more so than the day, and it reeks of a perfect unison between director, cinematographer, and photographer, who all seemed to understand how to make scenes not only look beautifully lit and well composed, but dark, eerie, and other worldly all at the same time.  This is without a doubt one of the most visually arresting horror movies I’ve ever seen, and maybe the best to date.

One of the clever POV shots in the film.

While it is commonplace in modern cinema to have sound effects and a inappropriately loud and obnoxious soundtrack or score dominant the dialogue of a film, it wasn’t so common even up through the mid 90′s.  The sound in Cemetery Man will probably sound dated to most, but then again you can say that the sound in JAWS is dated, in which my response to both is fuck you.  Gunshots are clear and sound as if they are being shot from a gun that has been shot many times before.  The soundtrack deliberately switches many times in order to extract or set a mood for a particular scene.  The dialogue also comes off fairly clean, although it could have been more crisp, but we will chalk that up to it not being a production that was not made on an astronomically large budget.  Whatever mild sins may have been committed by the available technology in the audio department are surely made up for by the special effects and visuals ten fold.  The blood and gore is incredibly visceral and strong, and Soavi shows confidence in his splatter man when he doesn’t jerk his camera away from head shots and other grisly images.  Speaking of which, this may be the movie with the most head shots I have ever personally seen, and each one looks more dynamite than the last.  Lighting, set design, filter choices, costumes and make up are all top notch and don’t feel dated or cheesy in the slightest.  If this movie were made in America, you would be able to spot the outdated attire and social wear from a mile away, but since this movie is a European production, the clothes have much more of a timeless and classic feel.  Same goes for the locations.  Beautiful architecture really helps set the stage, and the cemetery itself seems full of wondrous little alleys and coves begging to be explored.  It looks like the kind of movie you want to jump right into just to walk around and explore it.

Goodbye Boy Scout. Send the girls back with some cookies.

Cemetery Man is, or at least was for me, an answer to many wishes when it comes to my beloved zombie sub genre.  It is fast paced,never boring and it combines trippy, almost hallucinogenic visuals with classic elements of European horror film making.  It is unapologetic in its cryptic nature, which some have unfairly dubbed as simply confusing, and it is a startling example of how to try an add depth to something that could have existing solely on its surface values.  If you consider yourself a zombie film fan, or even a horror fan in general, and you haven’t seen this, you should do so immediately.  It belongs within every conversation about horror, especially if the conversation is about classics of the 90′s, and can even be looked at (as I do below, beware though it is full of spoilers) in an analytical sense if you are so inclined to try and figure out what is really happening.  Either way, don’t let this one sit there in your “Yeah, I’ll get around to it” pile.  You’ll learn to Love the Dead.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Fuck, that is an awesome giant puppet.

BONUS THEORIES!

Now onto my theories about the actual meaning and psychology behind the film.  If you haven’t yet watched it, I suggest you do at this point.  Cemetery man at first struck me as a story of a man in purgatory or hell, who is meant to learn about the differences between life and death (see his short talk with the death stature towards the end of the film for confirmation of this) or maybe even life itself while he himself rots in a cemetery where he must “re-kill” the undead.  The “She” character could easily be seen as the Devil, as every time she pops up, Frances sets himself back further from learning anything from his mistakes as he takes the bait on her “love” and pays dearly for it every time.  Outside of a religious context to the tale, there is also the possibility that Frances has a very vivid imagination, and that isolation, besides his friend Gnagi who could ALSO be seen as just an elaborate hallucination, has started to play tricks on his mind to the point where he truly believes the dead rise up from the ground and that it is his job to put down the “Returners” as he so eloquently puts it.  There is also the possibility that whenever night time comes along, what happens during the dark is a dream, and maybe he sleepwalks and acts out his dreams.  Of course, these are all just theories, each one having massive holes in them, and would welcome anyone to help me formulate an airtight meaning to this very cryptic gem I love so dearly and hold close to my horror loving heart.

END OF BULLSHIT THEORIES!

The Devil? Perhaps.

—————-
Now playing: Nadja – Clinging To The Edge Of The Sky
via FoxyTunes

The tag line you don't see on this dvd cover is "Everybody Fights", which is one of my favorite tag lines of all time.

Junk has one the most most memorable tag lines I have ever seen, which is “Everybody Fights.”  It’s simple, to the point, and sums up everything this gem is all about.  Junk tells the story of a military experiment to raise humans from the dead with a neon green serum called DNX, which of course was “terminated” due to subjects being resurrected in the form of flesh hungry monsters we affectionately know as zombies.  After the research is “stopped”, the United States military, operating from a base in Japan, moves the science project to a restricted and abandoned building in the middle of Japans countryside.  When some shoddy jewel thieves decide to use the same building as a meeting point for an exchange of some recently stolen goods with a Yakuza gang, things become quite hectic when the dead harbored there accidentally get exposed to some remaining DNX.  What follows is 90 minutes of pure fun full of references to zombie film royalty such as Zombi 2, Re-Animator, Evil Dead, and The Beyond.

Not at all stolen from Re-animator. Nope, not one bit.

From the word “Go”, Junk slaps us silly with an abundance of cheese, so much so you’ll probably want to pour a glass of wine to go with your viewing experience.  It starts with a naked chick (I assure you, the breasts are impressive) being injected with DNX (pictured above), which initially proves to be successful.  That is until, the chick kills the doctor and his assistant.  We are then introduced to our bands of thieves, who have names like Akira and Jun.  Whoever wrote this must of really liked Anime, video games, or possibility both.  After a botched smash and grab job in a fancy jewelery store, our thieves contact some shady Yakuza types, let by a guy named Romero (Gee, I wonder where they got that name from).  Within that surly bunch is an Asian dude with red hair.  I’m serious, I can’t make this shit up. I’m going to go ahead and assume that it isn’t his real hair colour.  The cast of characters are brilliantly brought to life with the standard “larger than life” personalities we have come to love and expect in any Asian crime flick.  For whatever reason, the oriental theater of film has a way of making even the most sleazy and paper thin of characters at least distinguishable if not downright memorable, and Junk is no exception.  Think of everyone playing their roles, but then doing caricatures of those roles.

Loreal for men. Nothing says "scumbag Yakuza" like a shitty dye job.

Aside from the fun and lovable characters, Junk propels itself forward into legendary status with a blitzkrieg pace that only increases as the flick chugs along.  It does so by increasing the number of zombies, and keeping the body count blissfully high.  To go along with the ever rising death toll, we are treated to some of the finest examples of old school prosthetic gore seen outside of the spaghetti horror film craze of Europe in the 70′s and 80′s.  We’re talking mammoth squibs, exploding heads, blood spraying out of wounds like fountains and geysers, and hordes gnarly, decaying, lumbering, and gut munching undead.  Junk wears its heart right on its sleeve, not for a moment denying the movies that have preceded it and provided a source for inspiration.  I commend this kind of worship, instead of passing itself off as some kind of new breed of zombie films, it merely takes what the Japanese already do well (in this case, feverishly fast paced and violent crime dramas) and combines it with the lore and novelty of scientifically created zombies.  Besides the absolutely sublime film Versus (actually the first review I ever wrote for this here blog), Junk is the only film I have seen that fuses together the best of what John Woo has to offer in terms of electrifying action with the campy fun that horror has so geniusly made its own.

Aim for the head.

The sound and visuals all reek of cheddar, with some seemingly intentional low-fi quality to the picture quality, and a soundtrack that borrows just as heavily from the techno thumping made popular by films like The Matrix as it does from the Goblin and Tangerine Dream soundtracks of yesteryear that provided and eerie warmth to classics of the horror genre.  It is also abundantly clear that this was made on a moderate budget, and maybe even a shoe string one.  With that in mind, the a sheer amount of on screen chaos becomes even more impressive and a careful eye can see how clever use of quick cuts and editing makes what must have been a small squad of extras come across as a shuffling army of cannibalistic death.  Gunshots and dialogue are all clear as day, even though you’ll spend a bulk of your time reading the subtitles as I have yet to encounter a DVD with dubbing, and don’t really want to.  In short, even its technical aspects sound and look like a love letter to the days where light hearted horror carried just as much as water as the heavier, more psychologically scorching material.

Sexy.

I’ve seen Junk about 5 times now, and have to say that each and every time, it has wowed and entertained me on a level few films ever have.  It’s fun for the sake of fun, it never takes itself too seriously, and it slams its foot down on the accelerator and assumes that you can keep up.  I like moving, heady, and deep films just as much as the next guy, but there is something to be said for slabs of cinema that don’t try to tug on your heartstrings, or scare the living daylights out of you, but instead warm your innards with the joyous beams of light that only a tale of silly Japanese mafia types vs. the recently resurrected can bring.  Junk is a masterpiece of carefree supernatural shoot em ups, a film that you can laugh at and with, and seems to wink right back at you and confirm your suspicions with a giant, shit-eating grin.  Junk is built for speed AND pleasure, and is just begging for you to take her for a ride.  Five out of five stars.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

TOAST IS DONE! Oh wait, that is just that dudes brains...nevermind.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I5D6WlFDEA

That whole cover just oozes toughness.

While we all have favorites movies, any serious movie goer also has a small pantheon built in their minds that contain movies that are not only great, or even brilliant, but instead are transcendent and sublime.  They are the kind of films that make you feel at home inside the deepest darkest reaches of your movie-loving soul.  It pin-points and annihilates preconceived notions that can sometimes make  die hard film buffs wonder if they will ever see a movie that will nail all their personal cinematic desires and fantasies, in only within a certain style of film.

For me personally, I’ve always been extremely partial to a well made action film.  My first real true love in movies was the directing of John Woo.  I was getting to that age right before my teenage years were I had seen enough movies to start to identify what it is I truly like about them.  I found out that I liked furiously paced, relentless action flicks, that feature progressive gun play and/or martial arts alongside such themes as honor, chivalry, and an almost romantic relationship with fate and the violence itself.  Naturally, this lead to people like John Woo, Takashi Miike, Ryuhei Kitamura, Ringo Lam and others, but not until recently had I heard about Eastern Condors, which had a strong reputation for validating Sammo Hung as director, actor, and martial arts star.  Or, at least that is what I got out of the geyser of compliments this film receives online in the circles I travel.  Now having seen it, I can understand why so many people feel that way.

Eastern Condors, where oh where have you been all my life?

The plot, which is the first thing shown and explained in the film, is actually quite solid.  In fact, it’s downright interesting, since some online research by me after watching it shows that there is some fairly solid evidence that missions like this have a historical precedent, albeit a somewhat controversial one.

“A motley group of Asian prisoners held in the US are given one chance for freedom. They are to go deep into Vietnam and destroy a secret depot of missiles that the US left behind during the pull-out. The group, led by Lt. Lam and convict Tung, hook up with a trio of female freedom fighters and a happy go lucky martial artist named ‘Rat’. The entire group is captured by the VC because one of them is a double agent, but they escape, cross an un-crossable bridge, and get to the secret base just ahead of the VC. By this point nearly all of the original group is dead, and it’s up to Tung and Rat to fight the VC’s leader, a bizarre giggling man who’s lightning fast with martial arts. Written by Scott Hamilton {stomptokyo@aol.com}”

Needless to say Eastern Condors is a movie that has a lot going on, especially when you see how many characters this movie handles.  The story is very practical as well, because it allows history to be a base for credulity, while letting common knowledge about Vietnam and the atrocities committed there give the audience a good reason not to be too disgusted when Sammo Hung and company start dropping the hurt on the unsuspecting Vietcong soldiers in brutal, yet stylish, fashion.  There is also some slight heartstring pulling towards a few of the “convicts” that are featured, driven by their reasons why they would be willing to go on a suicide mission just for a shot at freedom.  Sammo Hungs’ directing allows the proper set up time for some of these characters and their sordid history and motivations, and then delivers the payoff for each, blending dark humor, fate, redemption and other qualities into almost all of his characters.  Some do get a little lost in the shuffle, but for the most part every plot and subplot is given ample time to become an integral part of the whole experience, instead of just being filler to pad time up to 90 minutes or so.

He kicked him so hard he knocked the sweat off that soldiers face.

To go along with the sound plot, we are also treated to some above-average acting.  The main reason I can’t elaborate more on it was because much of the heavy duty acting stuff this cast did was being done during major action scenes or in small breaks between confrontations, meaning that I was of course biased to be enjoying the chit chat between members of the good guy team while they shot, kicked, ninja’d, and blew away anything in there path.  And really, the action is the main course, so lets move on to examining what makes this particular films combination of roundhouse ricks and bullets so damn exhiliarating.

While John Woo maybe the master of blissful bullet ballets, and Jet Li, Jackie Chan and Tony Jaa may have set the bar impossibly high for physical, hand to hand combat and evasion, Sammo Hung seems only interested in combining these elements seemlessly, while keeping both methods of combat wildly entertaining and fairly logical.  This is where the ever important job of pacing comes to the forefront.  Sammo’s directing shows great patience, as the movie doesn’t even start with an action scene, but instead builds almost all of the important plot points up, so we don’t have to deal with buzz-killing exposition later on when we should be watching high flying action.  His pacing rewards the viewer later on when scenes of great intensity are strung together beautifully, leaving little room for taking a breath before the next onslaught or obstacle.  The action is well choreographed, and has a particularly visceral feel, as stuntmen take devastating looking tumbles after being kicked or thrown, strikes land with almost disturbingly realistic results to the adversary, and our heroes take no prisoners and don’t show many signs of that disingenious “mercy” modern day action flicks seem to be overly obsessed with.  It shows great emotion when dealing with certain subjects, like the torture of prinsoners by the vietcong, but it stays true to the logic of “if someone has a gun and is ready to kill you, you should always try to kill them first.”  In other words, it lets the action be the action, and lets the messages be the messages.

Not only a great action flick, Eastern Condors show brief glimpes of the reality of military corruption in 'Nam.

Besides awesome action, solid acting and a sturdy plot, the last thing I noticed, and maybe the thing I was most impressed by, was that Eastern Condors has sprinkled in, very respectfully I might add, some messages about the deteriorating conditions by which not only Vietnam, but much of the world is succumbing too.  Humanity can be encapsulated by the picture above, a snapshot taken from Eastern Condors, of a small boy playing Russian Roulette with a prisoner.  What you can’t see is that there is another boy who is taking turns firing a revolver with one bullet in it at the prisoners head, while the men around are cheering them on and I think even taking bets on which child will be the “winner.”  I won’t prance around thinking I know what Sammo Hung was trying to say exactly with scenes like this, but I think he may be trying to show some humanity, but showing the direct opposite of it.  He may be trying to say that even from birth, children can be brought up to be desensitized hate machines, and that even our enemies may deserve a sliver of our compassion and understanding, considering their history and lack of options during their youth when they are most impressionable.  Never the less, it’s a tasteful and sobering few moments that make Eastern Condors all the more unique and relevant.

The big bad guy who just so happens to be an insanely acrobatic martial artist. Go ahead, call him a sissy. He would kick you in the head 3 times before you even see his legs move.

All of this comes together to create a cozy, in not a little jarring, lost gem that has the substance and the style to stand up to even modern day action flicks, especially when you take into account there was no such thing as complex wire-work, rigging and cgi back in 1987.  Back then, chances were if something exploded on screen, it was also w blown up when they filmed it.  And that really is right in my wheelhouse.  It’s assuring to know movies like this exist, because they are like a warm blanket on a cold day.  There’s nothing quite like a damn fine action flick, and Eastern Condors delivers both the “damn” and the “fine” in spades.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

P.S.  This movie is uploaded on youtube.  Here is part 1, but you can find the whole thing broken down into about 12, 10 minute parts.  Don’t forget to hit the “HQ” to get near dvd quality video!!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJpQVee3GDo

You know a movie means business when it uses crosshairs in the title.

Sparrow Unit is a one of those flicks I never would of found had it not been for the passionate and devoted fans of trashy cinema that populate the deepest, darkest corners of the Internet.  It barely has an imdb page, there are no pictures, trailers or clips from it anywhere on the ‘net, yet despite total anonymity, it seems to travel the proper circles through the reputation it has among those who have been fortunate enough to have seen it.  What is that reputation you may ask?  Well imagine if John woo moved to the Philippines, and made a furiously paced, but grittier ultra violent action movie about rebels performing a seemingly endless sequence of hits upon mostly unsuspecting, but supposedly “corrupt” military and police personnel.  If you don’t already have a boner, now would be a good time to get one.

Sparrow Unit’s plot is relatively insignificant in the long haul, but does enough reason, just enough that is, to shrug off the fact that about every 6 1/2 seconds, someone is being riddled with lead.  The story follows a group of  “Sparrows”, which is the authorities cute little nickname for rebels-ish people who lives in the mountains, and come down to mainland Philippines in order to assassinate high ranking officials in order to expedite a coup.  Their reasoning is simply that the “powers that be” are hellishly corrupted, a motivation which one of our crew of Sparrows will question later in the movie, naturally.  So with that little tidbit out of the way, Sparrow Unit sets out to actually be more frenetically paced and show more on screen deaths than a Ringo Lam, John Woo, and Michael Bay movie combined.  Ok, so it’s not that many, but since watching this movie consisted of little more than enjoying terrific shootouts and chase scenes, I’ decided to count along with the kills, and I lost count somewhere in the very high 90′s, due to the fact that I couldn’t clearly see how many people died in a particular boat explosion.  Make no doubt about folks, even though this movie seems to try and be sending a message about rebellion and authority, it makes no bones about what the first priority is, which is killing every extra that was paid for at least 23 times.

Oh fuck guys, its the late 80's. Grenade from Army Surplus store. T-shirt and matching denim jacket and jeans supplied by OshKosh B'gosh.

The acting, from what I can tell, seems pretty competent, but again, it is incredibly hard to really invest a ton of emotion into these characters, since they are all so cookie cutter (in that awesome kinda group of assassins 80′s way) and predictable.  You have your hard-headed die-hard leader, willing to sacrifice anything to achieve his mission.  The partner/friend to the leader guy who ends up questioning his own motivation and whether or not he even believes in what he is doing anymore.  The rest of the crew is filled out by the expendables, who are given small traits like enjoying food or maybe being a little funny at inappropriate times.  There is of course a girl, who of course is hot for hard-headed leader guy, and the have sex.  It’s probably the worst love scene ever filmed, includes no nudity, and is awkward as all get out to watch.  But, it’s the 80′s and goddammit were gonna have a love scene edited together and intertwined with some heroes dying, because goddammit, it’s the 80′s!!!  Did I mention this movie reeks of the 80′s?

They kill a guy with a speargun, which was totally unnecessary since th assassin had a gun with him at the time. But the speargun was a million times more badass.

There really isn’t much more I can say here other than if your an action buff who thinks they have seen everything, chances are you haven’t seen this.  It’s budget seem fairly modest, but damn do they make every penny count.  The death toll is hovering around triple digits, the action is so relentless there were times where I would walk away from my computer to grab a drink, keeping my eyes on the screen, only to be caught off guard by the sound of gunfire, and have to race back to my seat in order to see what happened.  It has a somewhat twisted playful vibe to it to, and even though there are several “downer” moments, I never felt like the director was trying to genuinely make me feel sad.  The “downer” moments seemed like the logical thing to do next, in order to progress the nearly non-existent “story, thus it happens.

When dying from a hail of bullets in a foreign action movie, it is important to jump and flail the arms and legs wildly, as to convey to the audience that you, in fact, have been shot.

So if you are at all an Internet savvy person (I.E. you are familiar with the ways to “procure” certain items online in the new century) and you want to see something that transcends the action genre into a video game-esque, laugh riot of pure, seemingly uninterrupted 9mm joy, then hunt down Sparrow Unit: The Termination Squad, crack open a cold one (or whatever fancy drugs you ruffians do now-a-days) and get ready to get blown away.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

SERIOUS BUSINESS!!!!!!!! Just look at that facial expression. He loves his job.