Pembalasan ratu pantai selatan (1989) – aka: Lady Terminator

 

Pembalasan ratu pantai selatan (1989) aka: Lady Terminator

I’d heard great things about this awesome Indonesian bad movie. Thus, for your enjoyment, I just had to subject myself to it. And it is awesome!

 

It starts off rather bland, with a (rather ugly) woman shagging some guy (cowgirl styley) whereby as she climaxes she does something or other to his penis and blood spurts everywhere. She finishes by walking towards the came and uttering the awesome line of: “is there any man who can satisfy me?

The plot (for what there is) is pretty basic. So basic in fact that IMDb gives it one line: The spirit of an ancient evil queen posesses the body of a young anthropological student, who then goes on a murderous rampage.

Although it is, it seems, based on a book called The Legend of the South Sea Queen.

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Gamera 2: Assault of the Legion (1996)

 

Gamera 2: Assault of the Legion

Yep, that’s right. The big flying turtle is BACK! And, wow, this one was a big surprise! If you need to be brough up to speed on the other big G, check out my review of Gamera (1).

 

Big G’s lesser known brother (Gamera) returns, once again, to save Tokyo from ‘the Legion’. As IMDb says: A strange meteor lands in Japan unleashing hundreds of insect-like “legion” creatures which find their way into Tokyo. When the military fails to control the situation, Gamera shows up to deal with the ever-evolving space adversary.

OK, first thing I noticed about Gamera 2 is that it’s definitely no kids film. Seconds after the fifteen minute mark we see an underground train driver about to be attacked by a Legion creature. I expected it to be the usual driver-escapes-in-the-nick-of-time thing, or the creature would give him a nasty bruise, but no. We cut to the cabin, hear a scream, see the drivers hand come up, into the shot, and blood spray everywhere!

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Gamera daikaijû kuchu kessen (aka: Gamera – Guardian of the Universe) 1995

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (1995)

Godzilla… he has his rivals, but none have ever been as popular as the big G. Gamera has come close though, he’s been around since the late 60′s and, like the G, been in both kiddie and serious action films.

The plot of Gamera: Guardian of the Universe is pretty standard fare: The giant flying turtle is back for this 1995 Japanese feature where once again Gamera’s intentions are misinterpreted by the military. All Gamera wants to do is take on his old enemy, Gyaos, the giant prehistoric bird who has nested atop Tokyo Tower. (from IMDb)

In essence you could take out Gamera drop in Godzilla and the plot would remain intact, including the destruction of the Tokyo Tower. The actual script would have to change though. Why? Well, Gamera has a few tricks up his shell. Not only is he ginormous, pondering and the destroyer of cities he is also, it seems, part machine… or something. You see, Gamera has powerful booster rocket things in his feet so in times of need he can simply rocket out of the situation.

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My Top 10 – Serial Killers

I’ve ranked these in order of, in my opinion, depravity. A high body count a good serial killer does not make, it’s their warped logic or despicable acts that count in my top ten list. The information below is taken from Wikipedia, so if it’s wrong, don’t blame me! Anyway, without further ado, I present my number ten:

Harold Shipman

10 – Harold Shipman - (14 January 1946 – 13 January 2004) was a convicted English serial killer. A doctor by profession, he is among the most prolific serial killers in recorded history with 218 murders being positively ascribed to him, although the actual number is likely much higher.

On 31 January 2000, a jury found Shipman guilty of 15 murders. He was sentenced to life imprisonment and the judge recommended that he never be released. The whole life tariff was confirmed by the Home Secretary a little over two years later.

After his trial, the Shipman Inquiry, chaired by Dame Janet Smith, investigated all deaths certified by Shipman. About 80% of his victims were women. His youngest victim was Peter Lewis, a 41-year-old man. Much of Britain’s legal structure concerning health care and medicine was reviewed and modified as a direct and indirect result of Shipman’s crimes, especially after the findings of the Shipman Inquiry, which began on 1 September 2000 and lasted almost two years. Shipman is the only British doctor found guilty of murdering his patients.

Shipman died on 13 January 2004, after hanging himself in his cell at Wakefield Prison in West Yorkshire.

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Deranged – 30th Anniversary Collector’s Edition [Unrated]

Deranged (1974)

In short, Deranged is a (now legendary) film which is loosely based on the infamous serial killer, Ed Gein.

From IMDb: A man living in rural Wisconsin takes care of his bed-ridden mother, who is very domineering and teaches him that all women are evil. After she dies he misses her, so a year later he digs her up and takes her home. He learns about taxidermy and begins robbing graves to get materials to patch her up, and inevitably begins looking for fresher sources of materials.

And if you haven’t heard of Ed Gein then you’ve obviously been living on the moon for the past four decades. He was a murdering grave robber and the original source for the book/movie Psycho, and the (very loose) basis for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

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Tura Satana (Star Of Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!) Is Dead

Tura Satana - R.I.P. - 1935 - 2011

It has been confirmed, by me, that God sucks donkey balls due to the fact that Tura Satana (real name, Tura Luna Pascual Yamaguchi) is dead. She was 75, once turned down a marriage proposal from Elvis, had an amazing rack, and kicked serious ASS.

From FilmShaft.com: She made her debut in Billy Wilder’s Irma Le Douce in 1963 but it is Meyer’s Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! which made her an exploitation cinema star. Santana starred as Varla the leader of a vicious gang of go-go dancers in what has been described as an “ode to female violence”. It is easily Meyer’s best film.

Seriously, how many more awesome cult actors/actresses is God going to steal from us? This God character is out of control and needs a good kicking…

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Encarnação do Demônio (aka: Embodiment of Evil) – a Coffin Joe extravaganza!

Encarnação do Demônio (aka: Embodiment of Evil)

Encarnação do Demônio (aka: Embodiment of Evil)

Things what I learned from this movie:

  • if you are a mad maniac in Brazil, they set you free after 40 years
  • if you are a mad maniac with a crazy agenda, people will follow you
  • if you are a mad maniac with followers, some of them will be hot chicks
  • if you are a mad maniac with hot chicks you will want one of them to bear the fruit of your loins
  • if you are a mad maniac with loony chick followers they will throw their naked selves at you

So, the story is as thus:

After forty years in prison, the evil gravedigger Josefel Zanatas a.k.a. Zé do Caixão is released by the lawyer Lucy Pontes in accordance with Brazilian Laws. He moves to the slums with his followers that worship him, and he seeks out the perfect woman to bear his children while haunted by the ghosts of his victims. The vigilante brothers Captain Osvaldo Pontes and his brother Coronel Claudiomiro from the Military Police chase Zé do Caixão in the slums to kill him and they find a track of tortured and mutilated bodies.
(from IMDb.com)

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Ronnie’s Top Ten Watches Of 2010

My Top Ten WATCHES of 2010 from Ronnie on Vimeo.

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Alex’s Top 10 of 2010! (video inside! YAY!)

Oh dear God, he has reached critical mass!

Please note that audio levels vary because I am a shitty video editor! Adjust volume levels accordingly!  Enjoy!

Top10of2010 from Alex S on Vimeo.

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Dans ton sommeil (aka: In Their Sleep) – 2010

Dans ton sommeil (aka: In Their Sleep) - 2010

Dear peoples of France-land,

Maybe it’s something to do with all the frogs legs and snails you lot eat, but can you please stop making such depressing films!

That will be all,
Ronnie

Dans ton sommeil (English title: In Their Sleep) is a French film and, after my last Frenchy film (Martyrs), I was nervous to say the least. But, there was no need, this film isn’t overly aggressive or gory. It’s just sad and depressing.

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