Things what I learned from this movie:
- if you are a mad maniac in Brazil, they set you free after 40 years
- if you are a mad maniac with a crazy agenda, people will follow you
- if you are a mad maniac with followers, some of them will be hot chicks
- if you are a mad maniac with hot chicks you will want one of them to bear the fruit of your loins
- if you are a mad maniac with loony chick followers they will throw their naked selves at you
So, the story is as thus:
After forty years in prison, the evil gravedigger Josefel Zanatas a.k.a. Zé do Caixão is released by the lawyer Lucy Pontes in accordance with Brazilian Laws. He moves to the slums with his followers that worship him, and he seeks out the perfect woman to bear his children while haunted by the ghosts of his victims. The vigilante brothers Captain Osvaldo Pontes and his brother Coronel Claudiomiro from the Military Police chase Zé do Caixão in the slums to kill him and they find a track of tortured and mutilated bodies.
Initially the film started of pretty slow, it’s just Josefel (aka: Joe, aka: Coffin Joe) being released from prison/asylum and meeting up with Bruno his crippled man servant. Bruno takes Joe (who hasn’t seen the outside world for 40 years) to an abandoned old basement to meet his four new followers; two dudes and two hot chicks.
I should add that Joe looks kinda like Saddam Hussein, wearing a top hat, black cloak and with big fuck off finger nails.
Anyway, he’s now free and (just like old times) is looking for the perfect woman to have his successor. Only problem is that ol’ Joe is being haunted by his past, several victims from previous kills are appearing to him in visions. This is juxtaposed with the brutality of the Brazilian police who are shooting kids for sport. One thing leads to another and ol’ Joe ends up meeting two blind hags who just happen to have a hot as fuck daughter, which greatly interests him. He also has Bruno kidnap a hot scientist chick. God only knows how he manages it as Bruno can barely walk never mind kidnap. Anyway, Joe drugs her up and feeds her a slice from her own right buttock:
It’s from here the film gets to the good stuff. We also learn a bit more about Joe in that he had a wife/girlfriend who was pregnant with his son but it was not to be. We also see his potential future woman in a purification rite (or sorts) with her bare boobs, which was enjoyable. While Bruno is perving on this scene the cops bust him and kick the crap out of him. Unfortunately for the cops, Joe’s four followers attack and kidnap the four cops!
The cops are crucified, hung on hooks etc. All the usual nice ways to go. Meanwhile, another hot chick throws herself at ol’ Joe:
Coffin Joe dispatches the of the old blind chicks, tells the hot chick that he’s killed their aunts and asks what now. She replies:
And so the madness continues. Various people are captured and tortured, one woman is smeared in melted cheese and has a rat wedged in her vag. No, seriously! Eventually the cops storm his hideout and all hell breaks loose. They find bodies everywhere, mostly male, as it seems that if you want female followers you just need to treat them like shit for a little while and they come round to your way of thinking. A bit like when has cuts open the sewn up belly of a pig and out pops a woman. And apparently it’s a real pig and a real woman!
It’s a comical film which I think tries to show what it’s like in Brazil, but it’s a bit weird to try and mix the brutality of Brazil with the brutal madness of Coffin Joe!
There’s plenty of gore and blood. Certainly a lot of torture and there’s a TON of boobs!
Bit of a slow start, goes off on a few slow hallucinatory style scenes, but after the first kill it’s all good stuff!
Even in death the chicks with neatly trimmed beavers want Joe!