Kyûketsu Shôjo tai Shôjo Furanken (aka: Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl)

Just where does one begin with a film like this…

If you’ve seen either Meatball Machine or Tokyo Gore Police then you’ll know what to expect. If not? Well… put it this way, madness and insanity is putting it lightly!

Normally I start with an IMDb plot line, but IMDb doesn’t even have one for this one! Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl (VGFG from here on in, I’m too lazy to type long names) begins with some guy getting his ass kicked by three mutant chicks. But in steps a mysterious (hot!) young girl who ‘defuses’ the situation by grabbing the neck skin of one chick and peeling the skin off her head link someone peeling an orange. No, seriously… look:

Some Detol and a plaster and you'll be right as rain...

And that’s within the first five minutes!

After some school kids have their valentines gifts confiscated we see a young man being bullied. Only in Japan can a hot-as-fuck chick bully a guy in to being her boyfriend!

She can bully me ANYtime!

Then we’re introduced to the oddball girls competing in the 13th Student Wrist Cut Rally. Then the bullied guy has another hot-as-fuck chick after him!

I'll take your chocolate alright... (oh my, that sounds dirty!)

This time she gives him some chocolate, which he accepts, takes a bite from it only to discover that it contains the hot-as-fuck chicks blood. Her vampire blood! This sends him on a bizarre LSD-style trip which ends with him going to see the school (hot-as-fuck) nurse:

Shame about the Superman hair-do

So now the poor lad is part vampire and we get to see the brutality of his new vampire girlfriend as she bumps off several people with great glee and a gleaming smile. I don’t want to tell you everything about the movie, but from here on in it’s a bizarre love triangle with two mutants fighting over a half-mutant with limbs flying everywhere, thanks to a cordless screwdriver. No, seriously:

Never leave home without your cordless screwdriver.

There’s plenty of gore in VGFG and buckets of blood. The effects are very well done considering this isn’t some big Hollywood fuck-up blockbuster. My only gripe with VGFG is that some of the middle parts are slow. Introducing the wrist-cutters and the face-painted-black girls was kinda necessary for later in the story, but could have been a bit quicker.

VGFG is a top-notch film, not as good as Tokyo Gore Police (TGP) but still great fun and perfect for a brainless night in.

Rating: