Retard-o-Tron Video Mixtape – Volume 1

Retard-o-tron! YAAAYYYY!

Retard-o-tron! YAAAYYYY!

Retard-o-tron is probably one of the most well known mixtapes in the sleazy underbelly of mixtape madness. Made, in co-operation, with the legendary Cinema Sewer magazine, Retard-o-tron is very well produced and includes a veritable plethora of crazy clips from everything from porn to TV.

The ‘tape’ starts with some crazy Jap chick covered in poo walking down the street. Needless to say, there’s a wide berth between her and the normal people. Then we move on to some kid doing the most gay dance ever, how embarassing for his parents, and for him in the future. Moving along at a brisky pace we have some ‘skater dudes’ (aka: idiots) having a run in with some security people, some people on motorbikes eating dirt (literally) and a couple of clips featuring the almighty Lemmy!

Next comes the usual montage of fuckwits doing ‘stunts’ (read: retarded things) and various punch-up scenes. Next, quite possibly the most lame idea ever: The Mighty Thor. Even as a comic, I found it a rubbish idea, the TV clip confirming my suspicion.

Thor - the most useless idea in the history of useless ideas...

Thor - the most useless idea in the history of useless ideas...

Nearly twenty minutes in and we get some boy-racer clips, unfortunately they don’t crash – shame that. Next it’s that crazy Jap kids show with the red octopus thing, can never remember the name of it, and then a few flashes (no pun intended) of Kekko Kamen!

It's the red octupus thingy!

It's the red octupus thingy!

octopusSome more stupid stunts (aka: I laugh at your stupidity and pain) some guy pumping a bovine of some sort and some vomit porn. Just your usual mixtape stuff, you know…

At the half way mark there’s some more Jap madness (chicks spewing on each other), porn (bOObs!) and some well cool robot action. Is there more of that robot flick? If so, I want to know!

Then some clips of David Hasselhoff singing. Spewing, porn, pain… I can take all that, but Hasselhoff singing? There was absolutely no need for that!

Cuming 2010, we're taking orders for this stunning new lawn sprinkler...

Cuming in 2010, but we're taking pre-orders for this stunning new lawn sprinkler... it's a bit slow, but it looks great!

The last 30mins feature some vandalism, sorry ‘grafitti artists’ (vandals), some quality (80’s) Transformers clips, more fights, with the one hour mark having a good bitch fight. Then there’s more stupid stunts, a Jap guy pulling a nice (cheap) wrestling move on a chick which spreaders legs allowing the camera a perfect beaver-shot and some fat chick whipping her tits out. The credits start rolling with another (pretend) bitch-fight, some classic tourettesguy (probably faked, but still a personal favourite of mine) then some guy popping a load on the face of a rather pretty Jap chick who is possibly reading the news, I dunno, I can’t speak Japanese. The tape ends with some animation and a bloody nose. All good stuff.

If you’ve never seen a mixtape before then Retard-o-tron is the perfect place to start. It’s clips are (mostly) of good quality, it has none of the cheap real-death clips that a lot of other mixtapes use, and it’s all held together with some quality editing. Get it NOWtard!

Rating: ★★★★½

You can download Retard-o-tron from the links on this page, and with that same link, download previews or buy a copy of the DVD’s to help support further mixtapes.

Excuse me while I head off to view Volume 2… (review coming soon!)

all doodles are (c) Ronnie, don’t steal, ask!

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About Ronnie

Having survived the UK's 'video nasty' (prohibition) era I'm eager to catch up with all previously unseen sleaze and filth. I revel in mixtape oddness, boobage, gore, and proper latex special effects, don't get me started on CGI... - email Ronnie
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4 Responses to Retard-o-Tron Video Mixtape – Volume 1

  1. David Hasseloh HIMSELF says:

    Good fucking grief, downloading RIGHT NOW!

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