Aachi & Ssipak
I first came across this *ahem* ‘delightful’ little movie while viewing the mixtape, Celluloid Carcass. The scene of little blue smurf-like beings being annihilated brought me great joy. And thanks to James, who revealed the name of the movie, I can tell you that the whole movie brought me great joy!
The story? Ok, bear with me here. You won’t believe it, but I’ll explain it none the less (storyline butchered from IMDb, ie: I cut out some spoilers):
[in the future] all citizens are implanted with anal identity chips at birth, and when they defecate in public stalls they receive an addictive, hallucinogenic popsicle, called a “juicybar” as a reward. Juicybars … cause people to transform into small, blue, and stupid mutants. These mutants have been organized by a Hitleresque charismatic leader into a revolutionary cell called “The Diaper Gang” and they are constantly hounded by police forces, aided by an unstoppable government cyborg. Everyone wants to control the juicybar supply. Jimmy the Freak, a drug-addled porn director, stumbles onto a means of tricking the system into over-dispensing juicybars and he hands this information to the leader of the Diapers. They then recruit anti-heroine Beauty (a woman imbued with the power to crap several times a day) to be the vessel for a “blessed” anal chip and soon accidentally lose her to Aachi and Ssipak…
No, I’m not kidding. That’s the storyline. It’s AWESOME! Full of schoolboy humour and anal/poop jokes, this movie is basically MADE for my sense of humour!
Constipated? You need 'Dump-free Yogurt'!
Scattered throughout the movie are small infomericals (like the screen above) for things like ‘Dump-free Yogurt’ and various other laxative-type products. The animation is excellent, it’s a mix of traditional looking cel animation and CGI, it’s not a perfect blend, but it’s not so distant to throw you off watching.
Jimmy, the porn director.
The many characters in the movie are hilarious. Jimmy, the porn director, (above) is hilarious. He’s trying to be a serious (porn) director but, when faced with danger, turns in to a snivelling, weeping, coward. Aachi, and Ssipak, are a couple of unlucky, but hopeless, thugs trying to control (and steal) juicybars but, inevitably, end up getting the crap kicked out of them.
I'm not going to even TRY and explain this scene!
‘Beauty’ is the girl who can poop, cause an error, and have the lavatory delivery a gajillion juicybars, much to our (anti)heroes delight. Her relationship to Aachi and Ssipak is like your average Hollywood movie, one is trying to use her to get rich, while the other is in love with her.
Beauty, post-poop, juicybar delivered. But her lavvy is about to malfunction!
The action in the movie is something that would make (early) John Woo proud. It’s waaaayyyy over the top, dual gun play, blood everywhere, dumb little blue guys getting decapitated and blown up from every angle. So on, and so on. Good crazy stuff.
Used to be the Diaper Gang... before the mad Government robot (in red) appeared.
I’m trying to think of something bad to say about Aachi & Ssipak, but I honestly can’t think of anything negative to say about it. I’m going to have to give it top marks. It’s funny, has plenty of toilet humour, full of action, blood, and gore, doesn’t even try and take its self seriously, and is totally over the top. If you haven’t seen it, go get it!
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