Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! Strippers vs. Zombies

How?  How do you fuck this up?

How? How do you fuck this up?

Look at that poster.  How?  How is this not a home run?  You have zombies.  Zombies are fucking great.  You have strippers.  Here at Midnight Showing, we’re all about women, especially those who seem to think clothing is optional.  Plus, it’s a low budget film.  Really low budget.  So you figure they would  have to bring the violence, the gore, the hilarious and copious amounts of nudity, and the humor right?

Wrong.

Strippers vs. Zombies, or is that Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!, fails to even deliver us what is shamelessly promised on the cover.  To put it mildly, the overall quality of this film is only slightly above something a high school A/V club member would produce as a side project with his stoner buddies.  There almost no nudity, and none of it is in the least bit sexual or even funny.  The gore is a mish mash of horrible cgi, and so-so make up and practical effects.  The acting, from everyone besides the Samuel L. Jackson “funny black pimp” guy was pretty much forgettable, if not downright terrible.  The music is just generic sounding rip offs of pieces featured in movies like the Exorcist and Terminator.  And the director could barely keep the actors and actress’s in the shot, let alone do anything with the camera other than follow the action, and he even did that shitty.

Oh, and the really embarrassing thing?

At times throughout the movie, people would talk, on camera, and there would be no sound.  Like an old Godzilla movie that’s poorly dubbed.  Also, if any lines needed to be done over with dubbing later on, it was obvious the voices were recorded at different volumes, in like 128 kbps quality, in a completely different environment.  Obviously the makers of this film are not only shameless (a trait i would never fault anyone with), but also completely without a sense of professional pride.

It feels like they let this movie be released without watching the finished product.  Just like when I write for this site, you gotta proofread that bitch, and at least knockout the obvious errors, you know, like releasing a movie with LINES OF DIALOGUE COMPLETELY MISSING EVEN THOUGH THE ACTORS MOVE IS MOVING ON CAMERA!

If you follow zombies flicks, you’ll know that 2008 has been the year of the stripper vs. zombie movie.  Earlier in the year a movie starring Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund came out called Zombie Strippers.  I thought it was friggin’ terrible, but at the very least, it had some parts that showed you the filmmakers aren’t completely brain dead.

Strippers vs. Zombies goes that extra mile to make you just give up hope.  It shows you why movies like Snakes on a Plane are made, and even how movies like Snakes on a Plane MAKE MONEY!  By the way, the “funny black pimp” i mentioned earlier, he actually said in the movie “I’m tired of these motherfucking zombies in this motherfucking club!”  Really.  He did.  And it was probably the best part of the movie.

Maybe you should watch it, just because that guy is hilarious.  No, no you shouldn’t.  If there is any lesson to be taken from this film, it’s that if you come up with a good poster, a good title, and have no talent, you too can help make a mockery of the horror genre.

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About Alex Seda

"I watched him for fifteen years, sitting in a room, staring at a wall, not seeing the wall, looking past the wall - looking at this night, inhumanly patient, waiting for some secret, silent alarm to trigger him off. Death has come to your little town, Sheriff. Now you can either ignore it, or you can help me to stop it." ~Dr. Loomis email alex
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One Response to Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! Strippers vs. Zombies

  1. erica says:

    I thought this was a review for the jemma jameson one…that one looked entertaining at least. Good review though!

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