Dard Divorce directed by Olaf Ittenbach

Dard Divorce

Dard Divorce

Dard Divorce is a film which starts off innocently enough, even soap opera-ish, where it’s explained that Nathalie is divorcing Tim and stripping him of everything he’s worked for.

Unfortunately, we’re ‘treated’ to about twenty minutes of Nathalie telling us what is going on. Not discussing it with some other character, but telling us the details in a voice over that is almost like a cheesy Detective flick. Oh, and her acting is God awful, even in just talking!

After being introduced to her kids we see Nathalie feeling sorry for  what she’s done to poor Tim. Next thing we’re thrown in to an orgy of violence and gore. First it’s Tim lying there dying then it’s Nathalie being tortured, her kids being tortured (wrapped in cling film! Why? I’ve no idea) then various gangsters getting heads blown off by shotgun (below) and limbs decapitated (bottom).

Head off! I mean heads UP!...

Head off! I mean heads UP!...

The one down side of Dard Divorce is the acting. None of the people in this movie can act! Not one! The director (Olaf Ittenbach) is obviously a very talented guy, he wrote, produced, directed and did some of the special effects in the movie! But seriously, get yourself some decent actors!

Give the man a hand! (Sorry, couldn't resist it)

Give the man a hand! (Sorry, couldn't resist it)

The special effects range from the [‘I’m-pretending-to-throw-a-knife’ (cut) knife-in-the-head] stuff, through to some nice head explosions and limb choppings. One nice (in theory) scene is of a body being dismembered in a bath, unfortunately the man doing the dismember is showing his member, by being stark naked. I can see why he’d be naked (no blood on his clothes) but do you have to keep including his groin in most shots??!

If you can overlook the bad acting, and like a bit of torture/gore then it’s an OK film, story is a bit twisty turny, but it could have been a lot worse…

Rating: ★★★☆☆

[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0936468/]

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About Ronnie

Having survived the UK's 'video nasty' (prohibition) era I'm eager to catch up with all previously unseen sleaze and filth. I revel in mixtape oddness, boobage, gore, and proper latex special effects, don't get me started on CGI... - email Ronnie
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