Shin Godzilla (aka: Godzilla: Resurgence) 2016

Shin-Godzilla (aka: Godzilla: Resurgence)

First, sorry about the lack of reviews lately. Real-life and all that jazz. Second, Godzilla 2014 sucked monster balls. Over two hours and hardly any ‘zilla. Unacceptable.

Shin-Godzilla on the other hand…

The movie starts off with the ye olde Toho intro that we’ve grown to love over the years. You know, the one with the circular Toho logo with all the colourful rays of light. Yeah, that one.

Next, a boat is found floating. Empty. No one on board. Then some weird stuff happens and we see a tail. A BIIIIG tail.

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Kung Fury

Kung Fury

Kung Fury

I was (proudly, I may add) one of the many who helped fund this slice of 80’s awesomeness. The makers asked for $200,000. Teh Interwebz stepped up and collectively gave them over $600,000. See? Sometimes the Internet does do good things.

A cop and his rookie partner are chasing down a mysterious ninja guy. The cop is killed and his parter is hit by lightening and bitten by a cobra (no, really). On regaining consciousness the rookie is now Kung Fury, kicking ass, and taking no names.

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Yongary, Monster from the Deep (1967) aka: Taekoesu Yonggary

Yongary, Monster from the Deep (1967) aka: Taekoesu Yonggary

Yongary, Monster from the Deep (1967) aka: Taekoesu Yonggary

Think of Yongary as the Seoul mate of Godzilla. Seoul. Ha! I made a funny. Yongary is a South Korean film. Unfortunately, that means there’s no Kim Jong Un. He’d have whooped that monster himself and the film would have been five minutes long, so it’s probably just as well he’s not here. Anyway, big cracks start appearing in South Korea (see Kim Jung Un) which turn out to be the mythical Yongary about to destroy South Korea.

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Penny Dreadful – S01E01

Penny Dreadful (2014)

Penny Dreadful (2014)

I long for a good horror TV series. I loved American Horror Story (Season 2) but the ending pissed me off greatly and put off watching the other seasons. Having seen giant billboards (here in the UK) with the rather dapper Timothy Dalton and seeing the name Penny Dreadful I decided to give it a shot.

Why would I care about the name Penny Dreadful? Because there’s a long lasting legacy behind those old cheap magazines. They were like a print precursor to things like Tales from the Crypt and such like. Here’s a quote from the Wikipedia page:

“A penny dreadful […] was a type of British fiction publication in the 19th century that usually featured lurid serial stories appearing in parts over a number of weeks, each part costing one (oldpenny. The term, however, soon came to encompass a variety of publications that featured cheap sensational fiction, such as story papers and booklet “libraries”. The penny dreadfuls were printed on cheap pulp paper and were aimed primarily at working class adolescents.”

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Fist of Jesus (2013)

This is a 15 minute YouTube short that the film makers are hoping to make into a full feature flick.  15 minutes are full of win.  A full-length feature film?  I’ll pass.  Watch the entire 15 minutes below.

The flick is in Spanish with English subtitles and answers the question about where the first zombie came from.  Full of blood, sight gags, and campy gore!

Rating: ★★★★★


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Texas Chainsaw (2013)

Texas Chainsaw (2013) – Director – John Luessenhop


A young woman travels to Texas to collect an inheritance; little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw-wielding killer is part of the reward.

This is  a “made for 3-D” movie, so there are a few sight gags in it, namely with chainsaws coming straight at the screen.  It only happens a few times, and it isn’t bothersome, which is good as I am not a fan of 3-D movies.

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High Tension (2003) or Haute Tension – Unrated Director’s Cut

Another French Film.  This one is in English and French, and the French is subtitled.

The French are blowing me away with their horror movies.  I have only seen a handful of them so far, but have loved them all.  They are full of drama and suspense and gore.  They are not full on gore fests.  They are movies that keep you on the edge of your seats.

From IMDB:

Two college friends, Marie and Alexa, encounter loads of trouble (and blood) while on vacation at Alexa’s parents’ country home when a mysterious killer invades their quiet getaway.

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Frontier(s) – Unrated Director’s Cut (2007)

Just watching the trailer makes me really want to watch this movie.  Gore? Check.  Nazis? Check.  Blades to an Achilles Tendon? Check Check Check.

This is a French movie, which I watched with English subtitles.

So, let’s begin.

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Circus Of The Dead (2014) – The Year Of The Clown

Circus Of The Dead (2014)

Circus Of The Dead (2014)

All you folks with coulrophobia might as well close this post right now.

2014 year sees the release of Circus Of The Dead a clown related flick so good that the wussies at YouTube deleted their trailer because apparently it contained ‘extreme content’. It’s OK to post fail videos with people breaking their legs and what-not, but not a gory film trailer. Heck no!

A man becomes entangled in a deadly morality game when the circus comes to town and a sadistic clown forces him to examine the things in life he takes for granted in the most horrific ways. (IMDb:

Bonus boob pic since it is still the Christmas season.

Bonus boob pic since it is still the Christmas season.

The film stars everyone’s favourite nun rapist Bill Oberst Jr., with Parrish Randall, and Chanel Ryan. Director (and co-writer) Billy Pon is planning to premiere Circus Of The Dead at the Texas Frightmare Weekend this May. If you’re in the area definitely check it out.

Go on, give her a kiss.

Go on, give her a kiss.

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Five Non-Christmas Movies That You Can Watch On YouTube

If you’re anything like me you’re probably sitting there with no decorations up and muttering bah-humbug to yourself. Well, entertain yourself with these five crap films that are up, in their inglorious entirety, on the YouTubes.

Dawn Of The Dead (Directors Cut)


Mahakaal (aka: Bollywood Nightmare On Elm Street)


Ç?lg?n K?z ve Üç Süper Adam (aka: Mad Girl and 3 Supermen)


Imprint (Masters Of Horror episode from Takashi Miike)


Ebola Syndrome

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